that was the night that Nathan and I connected, that was the night we became friends, and now I just have to remind him of that.
“Okay,” I start shouting as I head upstairs. “So I went slightly overboard on the baking but I thought we could…”
Nathan’s eyes meet mine and they wince at whatever he sees in them.
It’s heartbreak he sees. My heart shatters into fragments so tiny they couldn’t be seen under a microscope.
My phone beeps as I stare at the empty room. There’s no nursery furniture in sight.
He’s throwing me out.
Mum: Would you care to explain why a van full of yours and Dillan’s things has just arrived on my doorstep? Are you coming home?
It would appear so.
“I told you I wanted you to leave,” he says but there’s no emotion to his tone. His hands tremble by his sides.
I don’t know what to say. I’m dazed, totally and completely dazed. I think I just lost my mind.
“What about Dillan?” It’s the only question I can manage to ask. I don’t want an answer to any of the others.
He shrugs noncommittally. “I’ll see him when I can. If you allow it.”
I nod quickly and a little frantically, my body tense as it struggles to keep my emotions bottled. I won’t give him the satisfaction. “Sure. You’re his uncle.”
“I appreciate that.” He chews on his cheek. “I warned you…”
My hand shoots up, silencing him immediately. “I know. I should have listened. I didn’t think you were serious. That’s my mistake.”
His eyes watch me warily for a moment. “Are you okay?”
A tingle erupts in my chest, forcing a lump up my throat. I swallow it down. “Fine. Are you sure they packed everything of ours?”
He looks me in the eye, his face now one of concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Am I? I feel okay. Shocked and maybe a little sad but I’m otherwise okay. “Yeah.”
“I’m sor…”
My hand shoots up again. “You don’t owe me an explanation, Nathan.”
“I…”
“No.” I throw the bag of donuts at him and he catches them with ease. I watch for his reaction as he peels the bag open. His eyes sparkle with the memory of that night.
“One of the best nights of my life,” he says quietly and looks at me, his gaze unsure. “Thank you for these.”
I ignore him and his strange look. “I have a bag of my things in your room, did you remember those?”
He cringes. “No. Sorry, I forgot about the time you stayed upstairs with me.” Yeah right. More like he wanted an excuse for me to come back. What game is he playing? Do I even care?
How do I even feel?
“I’ll just grab them now.” My voice sounds weird. Why does it sound so… hollow?
He follows me up the stairs and into his room. Unfortunately he doesn’t remain silent. “I expected you to be angry.” Yeah, me too. “I don’t like this.”
“You don’t like what?” I mutter and turn on the light. My bag is under the desk in the corner. I pull it out by the handle and sling it onto my back.
“This calm…” he waves a hand at me, as if referring to all of me rather than just my expression.
I give him a shrug. “Thanks for everything. Honestly. You’ve done so much for me. I guess I just can’t seem to blame you for wanting your life back.”
“That’s not what this is.” He takes a step towards me, almost as if he wants to touch me but thinks better of it and leans against the wall instead.
“Then what is it?”
He opens his mouth, closes it, opens it, lets out a frustrated growl and runs his hand through his hair.
A familiar cool disk taps the curves of my breasts. I’m so used to wearing it I forgot it was there. I wrap my hand around the circular pendent and pull it from my neck and the chain breaks. If this had happened yesterday, I would have been devastated. Now I don’t care. “Here.” I hold it out for him to take.
The pain in his eyes does nothing to me. He shakes his head, looking like I’ve just killed his puppy. “I don’t want it back. I made it for you.”
“Exactly.” I toss it at him but he makes no move to grab it. We both watch as it flies past his arm and slides along the floor into the darkness of his closet. I feel nothing. I’d throw the matching bracelet too but I’m not wearing it.