“There are twelve boxes downstairs in the kitchen, all of them full of your favourites. You can freeze them because I doubt even you will be able to eat them all in two days.”
“Gwen,” he whispers softly.
“Don’t,” I say and rub my eyes. “I’m going to call for a taxi.”
“Take your car,” he implores, following me down the stairs to the first floor where my room resides. “That’s more for Dillan than it is for you. You said you’d keep stuff for Dillan, right?”
I blink at him like he’s stupid. Hell, he is stupid. “Nathan, how the hell do you expect me to afford it? The insurance is ridiculous and it eats through fuel like we breathe air.” He opens his mouth to speak but I don’t let him. “I don’t have a job, I have no money and my mum won’t let me stay for longer than a month.” He opens his mouth again but, like before, I cut him off. “And this isn’t a guilt trip. It’s the truth. I don’t want anything from you.”
“I’ll provide for you both until you get back on your feet.” His voice is barely there. I can see a flicker of emotion in his eyes. Is that remorse? “I’ll rent an apartment for you. There’s a really nice one in the…”
“Can you just call me a taxi? I need to go and pick up my son.” I show him my phone which has just this second died due to me failing to charge it last night. “No power.”
“Only if you promise to let me pay for it,” he demands, hiding his phone behind his back. “Or better yet, let me drive you to your mum’s.”
“No,” I refuse adamantly and check around my bedroom for anything that he may have left behind. “Thanks, but you’ve done enough for me already.”
“Then let me do something more.”
A tiny zap of anger pierces through my bubble of numbness. “No. I don’t want anything from you anymore. You’ve made your feelings on us loud and clear.”
“Us?” He blinks in astonishment. “What do you mean us?”
“I meant me,” I correct myself, cursing for my idiotic slip up that he’ll no doubt read into.
“You said us.”
“Well excuse me if I’m a little out of sorts, Nathan,” I hiss and prod him in the chest. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve just lost my entire life… yet again.”
His skin turns an odd shade of yellow. “That’s not what this is. You get to go back to your friends. You get to…”
“This is my home. No… sorry. This was my home.” My heart plummets, its beat no longer existent. “You were my home.”
He staggers back a step, his hand gripping hold of the desk. “Caleb was your home.”
“Yeah,” I laugh coldly. “He was. But he’s dead and I lost that.” I realise something and mentally kick myself for not realising it sooner. “You gave me that back. Just in a different way.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way. I thought…”
“Stop thinking. It doesn’t suit you.”
“Maybe we can talk about this. Maybe I’ve rushed my decision.”
“Maybe you can call me a taxi so I can get my son and find a way to get to my mum’s. A way that doesn’t involve you. Besides, it’s not going to change anything, is it?”
He lets out a growl of frustration, answering my question without words. Instead he says, “At least let me give you a ride to Jeanine’s.” I go to pass him but his hand wraps around my bicep. “Please.”
Sigh. “Fine. Give me a minute, I need to call my mum.”
He nods and ducks out of the room after I nod towards the door.
“Explain,” my mum says, sounding curious rather than irritated or put upon.
“I’m coming home.”
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I unpacked your things then.” I can hear the smile in her voice. “I’m looking forward to seeing you. Text me when you’re on your way.”
“I will. Thanks mum.” I hang up the phone and stare at my empty room.
I failed.
Nathan doesn’t say anything as he drives me to Jeanine’s. I don’t say anything either. I’m not entirely certain there is actually anything we can say. He’s made his feelings clear and I’m not sure what my feelings actually are right now.
He pulls up outside of Jeanine’s house, which isn’t too far from Nathan’s but is far enough for me to want to drive there.
Before I can reach for the handle, the doors lock. I give it a