watching her was intolerable. I’d rather forsake all of my oaths and die defending her than letting an Ulkar come anywhere near her sweet mouth or even sweeter…
No. I can’t think of these things. She may be mine to protect, but she’ll never be mine.
And yet, there’s one other option that has popped into my mind. A way to protect her with a 100% chance of success. The problem is, the mere thought of it is intolerable and goes against every fiber of my being. I could never do that to her.
“Two percent?” she says, sobbing. “So I’m going to get raped by tentacle monsters? I’d rather die. You have to promise to kill me if it comes to that, Kula. Kill me before they do that to me.”
My hands are shaking. I could never hurt a hair on her head. I could never draw her blood. “I can’t hurt you.”
“What are the Ulkar going to do to me?”
Even though I shouldn’t, I tell her. Lying to her feels physically painful.
“When an Ulkar spills its seed into its mate, she is brought back into the higher dimensions. It’s unknown what happens to her after this. The only certainty is that the Ulkar can reproduce, so their mate does not die. Most likely she is transformed into something else entirely.”
“Kula,” she says, “please, I’m begging you. Please think of a way to get me out of this. I know that you don’t really know me and that you don’t really owe me anything, but there has to be some option other than just trying to cut through them all with your axe and hope they don’t rape me into some other dimension.”
I grip the handle of my axe so hard with both hands that my veins bulge and my arms shake violently. I can’t stop thinking about the way to truly protect her. I want to hate myself for even thinking of the idea, but at the same time, it’s the only way to truly keep her safe.
She puts a hand on my arm, and her warmth acts as an elixir. I release all the air from my lungs and throw my head back. I look up as I exhale, and the tension melts away from my body.
“Try to relax,” she says. “Think. You must be able to think of some other way. Maybe you have more high-tech gadgets. Maybe your axe can teleport us into some dimension they can’t see us in…”
She rests her head against my arm as she begins crying again, but I pull away from her.
It feels too good. I don’t deserve her touch. Not after the horrible thought has infected my mind. I’d rather die than do that to her, but would I rather let her be taken by the Ulkar? Is it really even my decision to make?
“Kula,” she says, “I’m sorry I touched you like that. It’s just that if this horrible thing is going to happen to me, I wanted to not feel so alone in my last moments.”
“There’s a way,” I say. “A way to protect you.”
I shouldn’t have said it. It can’t be unsaid. She’s going to eventually get it out of me, and once she does, she’ll never see me the same way again. Even if she only has an hour or so left on this Earth, I’ll have to endure her hateful gaze for those last minutes of our lives together.
“What is it?” Her eyes are wide and hopeful. She’s looking at me like I’m her fucking savior, but she wouldn’t look at me like that if she knew what I’m about to say.
I look up at her with intense shame washing over me. I look down. I can’t meet her eyes. “What I would have to do...it’s unforgivable.”
“Come on,” she says. “Whatever it is, it can’t be worse than getting raped into the tentacle dimension. Please, Kula, out with it.”
“You have to mate with me instead,” I say.
She bursts out laughing, tears streaming down her eyes.
“The Ulkar won’t take what’s already been claimed, Ellie. I’m just as drawn to you as they are. They are bringing such numbers after you because they are competing with me. If I claim you as my own, they will have no attraction to you. They will leave you be.”
“I should have just walked home.” Her lip trembles as she sobs. “Why the hell did I follow you?”
“If you’d have gone home, they’d have followed you inside. As soon as you were alone, they’d have had their way with you.”
She curls up on the ground, holding her knees against her chest.
“I cannot take what is not offered, Ellie. If you cannot offer yourself to me, then we can take our chances with the Ulkar.”
This ends the sneak peek. Click here to read the full story or download the audiobook.