The Breeding Prize - Aya Morningstar Page 0,23
are over the line, abrasive, or throwing egg shells. I can do them less in order to please you.”
I rest my head against his shoulder now, like I saw the woman doing when we first sat down, though I notice that couple has already gotten up and left.
“You don’t have to change who you are for me, Raiska,” I say. “Though maybe if you were like...20 percent less annoying it would be good.”
“Only 20 percent?”
“I like who you are.”
“My half-brothers understood your ways much better than the Valittu. Kula adapted to human culture much more easily than I have done. I admit I was jealous of him.”
“You don’t say?”
He glares at me.
“I can be perceptive too, Raiska. I can tell you looked up to Kula.”
“I am a stronger warrior than him, he should look up to me.”
“Maybe. He can look up to you as a stronger warrior or whatever, but you can look up at him in certain ways. It doesn’t have to be the case that one of you is far and away superior in every aspect.”
“In many civilizations, if there are disagreements such as this, two men will simply duel to the death to solve it. It’s easier to kill a man than to admit he’s better than you.”
“Hmm, I don’t think I agree with that logic.”
He puts his hand back on my thigh and squeezes. “I’m not sure what I agree with. I grew up without any real civilization. I only ever visited others, often as an invader or conquerer. You say you like me the way I am, but I don’t even know who I am, Annabelle.”
“I’ll help you figure it out then.”
I don’t sleep with him.
Well, I do, because there’s only one bed, and I am not so heartless as to make him sleep on the floor.
I’m scared though, because I very much want to sleep with him. If we were on Earth, and he were a guy that I liked this much, I would go ahead and do it. There’d be a condom, and we’d have fun, and we’d have the next several years to figure out if we wanted to have kids or not.
With Raiska I don’t have that luxury. We’re deep in the Breeding Games. The goblin aliens and Philos are coming for us, and “breeding” with Raiska is the most logical thing to do.
Like Raiska said though, I am highly illogical.
No, that’s not fair. I am being logical, because the idea of trying to get pregnant with an alien that I just met—just because we had an amazing makeout session and because I really like him—doesn’t mean that I’m in love with him and am ready to have one baby of each gender with him. I will logically think through this situation, and I know that I don’t have the luxury of spending a few years with him to make sure he is “the one,” but I should—at dead minimum—get at least a night or two to really think it over.
Oh, and the bonding thing? It’s not just having kids. Having kids would be a big enough commitment, but I also have to have some freaky extra-dimensional connection to him as well. So yes, at least one night to think things over.
He’s sleeping next to me though. He’s naked.
I had the synthesizer produce me some really baggy and unflattering pajamas. I wanted to make sure I was dressed in something that made it a lot harder to have sex. Not so much to prevent Raiska from making moves on me, but more to prevent myself from making a rash decision. If he were naked and I were almost naked, it would be all too easy to just throw a bare thigh over his body, and from there it might be impossible to go back.
I can’t sleep though, because all of these thoughts are racing through my head.
There’s one thing I want to check. One thing I have to see with my own eyes before I can actually close them and sleep for the night. I know it’s not really right for me to look without him knowing, but I have to know.
It’s dark, but because Lakria is never truly dark, there’s enough ambient light that I’m pretty certain I’ll be able to at least see the outline of it.
I lift the blanket up a few inches and look down. I can see my body, but not his. I lift a little bit more, and those strange colors flash out from between