vowed I would never fail her. That I would love her forever.
Even in death.
Carter
I always knew that my humanity hung by a thread. That the only thing preventing me from descending into the darkness growing up had been Valentina’s light.
I’d survived through the long years without her. I can’t call it living, because nothing about my experience resembled living. It was just not dying.
But now, faced with the death of the one person responsible for my soul, my humanity slips away.
I wake up from a blackout, being hauled outside a bar by two black shirt clad bouncers. They’re covered in scrapes that look suspiciously like they were inflicted by human fingernails, and one of them has a swollen eye that’s starting to bruise.
It takes me a moment to understand what’s happening. It’s only when they throw me to the ground and one of them kicks me solidly in the gut that I remember what happened.
I’d gone into the bar down the street, and I’d begun drinking for hours. The bartender had tried to cut me off, but I’d thrown the contents of my entire wallet at him and he’d backed off. I’d sat there, drink after drink, shot after shot. And when someone had bumped me on their way to the bathroom, I’d lost my mind.
The guy who’d bumped me had outweighed me by at least fifty pounds, but it didn’t matter. I’d reared back and punched him in the face. He’d flown backwards and crashed into a table, staring up at me with a mix of fury and shock once he recovered.
He’d jumped up to come at me, and all hell had broken loose. My knuckles were bloody and swollen from the punches I’d thrown. My lip was swollen and bloody from where I’d gotten a left hook from one of the guy’s friends. I was lucky that the police hadn’t been called, based on the damage I’d left behind.
“Crazy, fucking American,” the one bouncer spits out disgustedly, after he gives me another kick for good measure. If I don’t start spitting up blood because of ruptured organs, I’d be surprised, based on the pain clenching at my stomach.
I can barely see out of one of my eyes, thanks to another fist to the eye. I’d given as good as I could, considering that I’d drank more alcohol over the last four hours than I had in my entire life.
I groan as I push up from the ground, pretty sure by the smell that I’ve been thrown in a puddle of piss.
I stagger down the alleyway behind the bar, clenching my stomach and side with gritted teeth. I think I’ll add broken ribs to the list of injuries I’ve sustained today.
Somehow, I make it back to the hotel. I ignore the shocked gasp from one of the female attendants at the check-in desk that had tried to flirt with me when we were checking in.
It seemed like a lifetime ago when I politely told her “Go fuck yourself,” after leveling a kiss on Valentina that left stars in her eyes. Did that really happen? It seems like a dream, the feeling of bliss that I’d had just a few days ago.
And now…now I am destroyed.
The hotel room is dark and quiet when I step inside. It’s impossible for me to be all the way quiet, since I’m seeing double, but I try my best as I make my way towards Valentina’s room. A room that I’d made love to her in, just yesterday morning.
She’s lying there in the bed, Logan and Quaid beside her like two sentries. All three of them are fast asleep.
I creep closer to the bed, just to make sure that her chest is still rising and falling. Just to make sure that she’s still here with me.
She’s so fucking beautiful.
I must be cursed. I’ve lost everyone that I’ve ever cared about in my life. Losing my parents and my grandma a few years later was awful, but losing her? Losing the one person that I care about more than I care about myself, more than I care about anything? That feels like my own death sentence being handed out to me.
I might as well throw myself off the balcony right now. As if pulled forward by a string, I crawl up on the bed and curl up at her feet, not wanting to be away from her any longer.
I’m furious with her. I hate the fact that she’s hidden this huge, awful thing. I hate