known. I don’t read the tabloids.”
“Well, it didn’t matter anyway,” she said staring at the wall in front of her.
“Why’s that?” he asked softly.
“We were on the road between stops on our tour when we got into a heated argument. I had them stop the bus, got off and climbed into one of the equipment vans. We were in the vehicle behind the motorhome Justin was in, when a vehicle crossed the median and hit the motorhome head-on. We watched as it ran off the road and rolled several times before it came to a stop upside down in a small lake. Nobody but the driver was wearing a seatbelt inside the motorhome. By the time we got to the vehicle, it had sunk below the surface and was completely submerged.”
“That had to be a pretty traumatic event for you.”
She nodded. “It was winter. The water was icy cold. We all dove in, at least once, but we couldn’t get to the door to let anyone out. The only one who made it out was the driver. He’d been the only one wearing a seatbelt and wasn’t thrown all over the place. Justin and three members of the band were left in that motorhome, and all of them died.”
“Let me guess,” Dash said. “You’ve been living with survivor’s guilt ever since.”
Sunny drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I was supposed to be in that motorhome. If I had been, I would have been dead, along with Justin and the band. Instead, I watched it all happen right there in front of me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get into that RV to save them.”
“Why did you join the USO?” Dash asked.
She stared down at her hands. “After nine years of singing as a couple, I didn’t know how to sing alone.” Her gaze met his. “The USO came to me and asked if I’d be interested in entertaining the troops for a couple of months. I saw it as a way to escape.” She lifted her shoulders. “So, here I am.”
Dash shook his head. “Escape? Here? Are you sure you weren’t punishing yourself for surviving?”
Sunny’s head shot up, and she stared at him. “What do you mean?”
“You joined the USO, came to a war-torn country where you put yourself at risk. Sounds to me like you were punishing yourself for living when the others had died.”
For a long moment, she stared at him.
He met her gaze without flinching. He supposed he’d hit a nerve.
Finally, she glanced away. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I am punishing myself for living when Justin hadn’t.”
“Had he lived, you were about to tell him you were breaking up the team anyway,” he pointed out.
“Yes, I would’ve ended the duo, but I didn’t wish him dead because he didn’t want to marry me.”
“The man must’ve been blind.”
Her gaze shot to his. “Why do you say that?”
“I mean, look at you.” He waved a hand, encompassing all of her. “You’re beautiful.”
“So are a million other women,” she shot back at him. “I guess I’d assumed that he would eventually marry me. After nine years, I gave up hope. We really wanted different things. I wanted a home and family. He wanted to be on the road, touring. He lived for the audience and soaked up the attention of all the gorgeous women who fawned over him at every stop. I was ready to find normalcy in an abnormal environment.”
“Like I said,” Dash said. “The man must’ve been blind.”
“What about you and marriage?” she asked. “You said you aren’t married. But have you ever been? Did you get divorced?”
“Never married. Never divorced.”
“Were you like Justin and never wanted to get married?”
He shook his head. “I had a happy childhood with loving parents. They stayed home and participated in all of our sporting events, school plays and everything else that made up childhood.”
Her brow wrinkled. “You’d think that would make you want to marry and have a family.”
“I didn’t want to have a family, unless I could do it right. With Delta Force, being away from home is more the norm than being at home. I’d miss all the firsts with my kids. First birthday, first steps, first time she rides a bike, first time he throws a football. I couldn’t do it.”
“You talk about kids… What about a relationship without children? Didn’t you ever want to find someone to love?”
He nodded, and then shook his head. “What kind of life would that