‘I’ll admit that you are a good look-alike, but I hardly think that a mythical legend has suddenly appeared just so that he can go to a lunch party.’
I blinked. It was the first time in my life someone had refused to believe that I was me. ‘Surely you recognize me,’ Folsom said, stepping up beside me. ‘Folsom Smedry.’
‘The critic,’ the butler said.
‘Er, yes,’ Folsom replied.
‘The one who panned His Highness’s latest book.’
‘Just . . . well, trying to offer some constructive advice,’ Folsom said, blushing again.
‘You should be ashamed of trying to use an Alcatraz imposter to insult His Highness at his own party. Now, if you’ll just pull along in that direction . . .’
This was getting annoying. So I did the first thing that came to mind. I broke the butler’s clothing.
It wasn’t that hard. My Talent is very powerful, if a little tough to control. I simply reached out and touched the butler’s sleeve, then sent a burst of breaking power into his shirt. Once, this would have simply made it fall off – but I was learning to control my abilities. So, first I made the white uniform turn pink, then I made it fall off.
The butler stood in his underwear, pointing into the distance with a naked arm, pink clothing around his feet. ‘Oh,’ he finally said. ‘Welcome, then, Lord Smedry. Let me lead you to the party.’
‘Thank you,’ I replied, hopping down from the carriage.
‘That was easy,’ Himalaya said, joining Folsom and me. The butler led the way, still wearing only his underwear, but walking in a dignified manner regardless.
‘The breaking Talent,’ Folsom said, smiling. ‘I forgot about it! It’s extremely rare, and there’s only one person alive – mythical legend or not – who has it. Alcatraz, that was a five out of five point five maneuver.’
‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘But what book of the prince’s did you give such a bad review to?’
‘Er, well,’ Folsom said. ‘Did you ever look at the author of the book you’re carrying?’
I glanced down with surprise. The fantasy novel bore a name on the front that – in the delight of looking at my own name – I’d completely missed. Rikers Dartmoor.
‘The prince is a novelist?’ I asked.
‘His father was terribly disappointed to hear about the hobby,’ Folsom said. ‘You know what terrible people authors tend to be.’
‘They’re mostly social miscreants,’ Himalaya agreed.
‘Fortunately, the prince has mostly avoided the worst habits of authors,’ Folsom said. ‘Probably because writing is only a hobby for him. Anyway, he’s fascinated with the Hushlands and with mythological things like motorcycles and eggbeaters.’
Great, I thought as we walked through the castle doorway. The corridors inside held framed classic-era movie posters from the Hushlands. Cowboys, Gone with the Wind, B movies with slime monsters. I began to understand where the prince got his strange ideas about life in the United States.
We entered a large ballroom. It was filled with people in fancy clothing, holding drinks and chatting. A group of musicians played music by rubbing their fingers on crystal cups.
‘Uh-oh,’ Himalaya said, grabbing Folsom as he started to jerk erratically. Himalaya pulled him out of the room.
‘What?’ I asked, turning with shock, prepared for an attack.
‘It’s nothing,’ she said, stuffing cotton balls into Folsom’s ears. I didn’t have time to comment on the strange behavior as the mostly naked butler cleared his throat. He pointed at me and proclaimed with a loud voice, ‘Lord Alcatraz Smedry and guests.’ Then he turned around and walked away.
I stood awkwardly at the doorway suddenly aware of my bland clothing: T-shirt and jeans, with a green jacket. The people before me didn’t seem to be dressed in any one style – some were wearing medieval gowns or hose, others had what looked to be antiquated vests and suits. All were better dressed than I was.
A figure suddenly pushed to the front of the crowd. The thirty-something man was wearing lavish robes of blue and silver, and had a short red beard. He also wore a bright red baseball cap on his head. This was undoubtedly Rikers Dartmoor, novelist, prince, fashion mistake.
‘You’re here!’ the prince said, grabbing and shaking my hand. ‘I can barely contain myself! Alcatraz Smedry, in the flesh! I hear you exploded upon landing in the city!’
‘Yes, well,’ I said. ‘It wasn’t that bad an explosion, all things considered.’
‘Your life is so exciting!’ Rikers said. ‘Just like I imagined it. And now you’re at my party! And who is this with you?’ His face fell as he recognized Folsom, whose ears were now stuffed with cotton. ‘Oh, the critic,’ the prince said. Then, more softly, ‘Well, I guess we can’t help who we’re related to, can we?’ He winked at me. ‘Please, come in! Let me introduce you to everyone!’