The Boyfriend Designer - Christopher Harlan Page 0,73

back to tense. “Oh no, I was happy to just smile and hang out and not have the opportunity to mess things up. I have no idea what I’m doing, you realize that.”

“That’s good,” I tell her. “’Cause you’re not really doing anything. I mean, sure, little assisting stuff here and there. I might need you to grab me some new sharpies to sign stuff when I run out, or take selfies—oh, the selfies! So many. Ready yourself.”

“Okay, I’ll work on my selfie-readiness later, but what’s this big responsibility thing you mentioned?”

I don’t really know Sabina in the same way as Tori. My friendship with her goes back to college, and she’s more like a sister than anyone ever will be. But I like Sabina, and I like mentoring her. I’m just not sure I want to let her into the personal stuff just yet, but I have no choice.

“Here, sit down.”

She sits on the bed, looking like I’m a doctor whose about to give her the ‘you’re dying’ talk. I sit next to her. “I need you to keep me away from Conor Durden. Or at least let me know when you see him, when he’s in the same room, or even if he’s just in your visual field. You know what I mean?”

I’m rambling and she looks totally confused. I’ve never told her about Conor. I don’t even know if she knows who he is.

“Conor Durden?” she asks. “The male alpha guy who sells all that stuff?”

Yup, the one whose junk wipes are a bestseller. “Yeah. That Conor. He’ll be here this weekend, he’s doing a presentation on a new line of something or other.”

Sabina listens intently, and I can see the mouse running on the wheel in her head, trying to put two and two together with what I’m saying. “Wait.” There it is, the lightbulb. “Why do I need to keep. . . oh.”

I nod to let her know she’s figured out my little puzzle.

“Yup, he’s my ex.”

“You’re sleeping with the alpha dude?” She sounds so excited.

I roll my eyes. “Correction, dear Sabina, I was sleeping with alpha dude.”

“So, you’re not anymore?”

My dear sweet Sabina, master of the past tense. “Well when you walk in on your boyfriend kissing some supposedly crazy fan you tend to not want to sleep with him anymore. So yeah, my vagina is currently padlocked.”

She looks at me with genuine sympathy in her eyes. I know she’s also been with her share of guys who weren’t good for her—it’s pretty much what her blog is all about. “I’m sorry that happened. Guys are dicks.”

“The biggest. Oh, wait. . .” We both giggle.

“Conor included?” she asks, giving me the old wink-wink, does your boyfriend have a huge dick face.

“Well, I’m not one to kiss and tell. . . but yeah, it’s pretty big.”

“Huh. I would’ve guessed that it was small. Live and learn.”

“Really? How come?”

“Well, you know what they say? Guys overcompensate for small dicks by acting like they have huge ones. Like a penile Napoleon Complex.”

“Wait, did we just invent a new psychological disorder? We need to call someone.”

Laughing with her and just having some nice girl talk is what I need. I’ve been putting up a good front for weeks and weeks now—ignoring messages, changing the subject when Tori tries to talk to me about it, and generally trying to distract myself with vlogging and appearances. But, the truth is, I miss him. I can’t believe he did what he did, but I feel stupid for ever trusting a guy like him and going against my better judgment.

I’m really hoping to not run into him.

“I’m starving,” Sabina announces. “There’s supposed to be a really great restaurant downstairs—I looked it up on the trip over. It has two Michelin stars. I don’t really know what that means but I know it means the food is yummy. I can call and get a reservation for an hour from now.”

I look up at the clock. I can’t believe it’s 4:30 pm already. Tomorrow I might have to see Conor—well, not if Sabina does her job, but still, there’s a chance. I’m hungry also, and even though I don’t want to be in crowds right now I feel bad keeping Sabina stuck in the room like a little kid. I want her to experience all of this, and that means being around people.

“Sure. Make the call.”

“See, thing is, I kinda already did. We’re good for 5:30. We’ll eat early and then we can do