The Boyfriend Designer - Christopher Harlan Page 0,41
honored that I’m the first?”
“You can feel any way you like, I’m just telling you that you’re wrong about me. And if you’re my captive, you have to do what I say, right? So get your ass inside so we can look at some smut together.”
I pretend to be offended some more—I’m really not. I was the editor and consultant on a podcast called Women on D*cks—sexual expression has never been a problem. I just don’t want to give Conor the satisfaction of knowing that I actually think this is a really cool date.
“Fine,” I say, fake protesting. “If I have to, I have to.”
We start walking around and right away I’m secretly in love with this place. I can’t even pretend much longer because everything is awesome. There are exhibits everywhere, cool looking people working here, and I can’t stop reading the walls. Everything is spelled out—not that it needs to be—about all the exhibits.
“This place is crazy.”
“I know,” he tells me. “I’ve lived in Manhattan for years and never been. I thought it was a good place to talk.”
“And you thought that because?”
He laughs. “Because sex is all about power—give and take. Male and female existing together.”
“Don’t tell that to the guys in the ‘History of Homosexuality’ exhibit—they might not share your super narrow worldview.”
“You know what I mean. Which exhibit should we walk through first?”
“What are my choices?”
“Let’s see.”
There’s a giant sign in the lobby that we walk over to. Apparently, the Museum of Sex is celebrating their most popular past exhibits. “We have a lot to choose from. There’s F*ck Art, The Sex Lives of Animals, Hardcore: A Century and a Half of Obscene Imagery, and Lovers from Hereafter. The sex world is our oyster. Lady’s choice.”
“How sweet and alpha-ish of you, letting me pick our sex exhibit. Umm. . . so much to choose from. Let’s see. Just out of pure curiosity I think we’re going to go with Lovers from Hereafter.”
“Good choice. I’m curious myself. Let’s walk.”
So we walk. I’m trying to pay attention to Conor, but we’re surrounded by way too much eye candy to fully focus on conversation. As soon as we’re inside the exhibit my mouth literally opens—probably not a great look considering where we are. “Oh. Wow. That was not a click bait name for this exhibit, was it?”
“No,” he says. “Very literal in fact.”
“I’ve never seen skeletons having sex before.”
“That makes two of us.”
As far as my eyes can look, there are exhibits of full skeletons in all sorts of sexual positions—missionary, doggy style, and ones I’ve never seen before. Interesting. “Not that it isn’t really interesting.”
We walk around, and after the shock of skeleton sex wears off, Conor addresses the elephant in the weird room.
“I was thinking we could do it live.”
“You want to have sex with me in front of an audience? Damn, Conor, you really are a cocky bastard if you think I’m agreeing to that.”
“You know what I mean. A vlog in front of a live audience. Your fans, my fans, whoever else wants to buy a ticket. We’ll split the profits of course.”
“And what do you want to do in front of said audience exactly?”
“Pretty much I’m going to attack what you do and you’re going to do the same to me. You know, kind of like we always do when we see each other, just in front of a lot of other people.”
“Don’t over estimate the amount of times we’ve actually seen each other. I’ve been working very hard to not see you over the past few weeks. And apparently you’ve literally been doing the opposite.”
“Look, I know I was a little bit of a. . . what’s the right word?”
“Dick, Conor. Dick is about the only word there is that can end that sentence like it needs to be ended.”
“Fine. I’m not too proud to admit it, I acted like a dick last time I saw you, but I didn’t think it was bad enough for you to not even return a message.”
“A message?” I shoot him the look to let him know that we both know it was more than a single message. It was six, in fact. Six messages trying to get my attention.
“Fine, however many it was, you get my point. Why ghost me like that?”
Because I think you’re beautiful, Conor. I like you, and I honestly find some of your alpha stuff super hot, but I can’t say a word of that to you because then you win,