The Boyfriend Designer - Christopher Harlan Page 0,36
is all about.
“Hey Alphas, it’s your pack leader Conor. I have a very special video for you today. Now, some of you might remember my most recent ‘Smash or Pass’ video featuring a whole bunch of women, including Shoshana, host of the YouTube channel “The Boyfriend Designer.” Now, as you may recall, I took a hard pass on this beautiful thing right here—and, truth be told, you guys gave me an appropriate amount of shit about her in the comments. I’m not above admitting that I’m wrong, and honestly, I was wrong. Shoshana is definitely a ‘smash’, no question. I just chose her as a ‘pass’ to see if you guys had any taste.”
My bullshit Spidey Sense is tinging.
“Anyhow, that’s all in the past. But, what’s in the present, is the fact that you all know that Shoshana and I actually met up at VidCon. And as you also know—I’m no hater. When a girl’s hot, she’s hot, and I’m not going to pretend that she isn’t. And Shoshana is hot. My bad. What’s not too hot is how she ghosted me after VidCon. I told her that I wanted to collab on a video project, and I haven’t heard back from her yet.”
Pause video. Holy fucking liar, Batman. Video project? Is he joking?
Unpause.
“So, I have to be honest. I’m laying down a challenge—I’m calling it the Conor Challenge—you all know what my channel is about. I’m all about empowering men to be men, to not be embarrassed, and to live their inner Alpha. Unfortunately, there are other influencers out there, like Shoshana and her friend Tori Klein. They’re the ones making videos for the girls you approach in the bar, for all of your girlfriends, for all the women out there—millions of them each week. Influencers like Shoshana are responsible for the ridiculous male stereotypes that women expect alphas like you to live up to. So here’s my challenge—I want Shoshana to come as a guest during a live vlog, and she can answer my questions and some of yours—let her answer for perpetuating unrealistic stereotypes.”
Literal vomit is being pushed up to my mouth. I can’t believe what I’m listening to.
“But there’s only one problem, alphas, and it’s a big one. I know that you want to hear from influencers like Shoshana—to understand why they peddle the bullshit that they peddle about men, but I can’t seem to get her attention. Maybe she only responds to guys who fit her romantic comedy leading man stereotype, and I guess I’m just not him. But if you want to see us get to the bottom of all this, then you need to be the alphas I trained you to be and hit her up—bombard her inbox, leave comments on videos—get her to take the Conor Challenge.”
Son of a bitch.
I’m about to freak the hell out! I need coffee.
Shoshana
“Sure he’s got the moves, but does he have the touch? Sorry, I had to.”
Okay, here’s where I am—mentally I mean.
Oh, and also where I am physically.
I’m at Starbucks, and I’m mad as hell.
For some reason this Starbucks is my happy place—or, really, the place I seem to come when I’m not happy, I don’t know. All I know is that I’m pissed. I’m kind of happy to have gotten to look at Conor a little more, even though I hate him, and I’m getting a decent cup of coffee to make up for that nasty thing I drank this morning.
I get my drink, sit down, and check my phone. What’s normally a slow drip of messages, @ mentions and tags is now a full-blown tidal wave of people asking me if I’m doing the stupid Conor Challenge.
I know exactly what this is—Conor’s thirsty as hell, and I’m his drink of choice. Basically I blew him off twice in one weekend, and now that I full out ghosted him, his male ego needs emergency surgery. The only way he can get to me is by wielding his alpha powers over the army of guys who think he’s God’s gift to the internet.
The bad part? It’s going to work, because I have no choice now. I have to reach out to him. It’s only been a little while and I’m already bombarded by his fans and mine, asking me when I’m going to do the collab with him. In a few days, this will be uncontrollable, and I’ll have to address it.