The Boyfriend Designer - Christopher Harlan Page 0,35
remember seeing that in the movie—maybe it’s a deleted extra on the DVD directors cut or something.”
“Wait, hold on, Conor sells butt wipes?”
“Among other things. The guy has his own line of products, all of which are on brand for his channel. Man-wipes, an underwear line he calls “Alpha Junk Holders”. . .”
“Come on, that’s not real.”
“Check it out.” I close my video and open up Conor’s website. Under the ‘Store’ tab it’s all there. Tori scans the page as a I scroll. Her eyes get wider the further down I go.
“Lube? He sells lube?”
“Not lube, Tor. ‘Junk lotion.’ Actually, all of his products have some euphemism for a name.”
“Do they all start with junk?”
“Some,” I answer, perusing a little further than I already have. “Actually, most of the products start with either ‘Alpha’ or ‘Junk’, sometimes in combination. The rest is merch—like tees with sayings from his books on them.”
“Oh, God.”
“And stop joking that I like him, it’s getting old.”
“What are you talking about? I haven’t even mentioned him since we saw him, until just now.”
“I know you were thinking it.”
“Sorry. It won’t happen again. I won’t mention him. I’ll just leave you to go through his merch store on his website all by yourself, for no reason whatsoever.”
“I hate you sometimes.”
“And by hate you mean love.”
“Well, obviously. Now I don’t feel like editing anymore.”
“Take a break,” Tori suggests. “You’re fast, you can do it later and get it done in time for tomorrow.”
“True. Good job supporting my laziness.”
“What are besties for? I need to head out in a little. My mom asked me to come speak to one of her undergrad classes.”
“What? Judgmental Mamma Klein wants you to come to her college to speak?”
“I know, ironic, right? She didn’t support my channel at all, but as soon as I became a bestselling author she changed her tune. Now she wants me to come speak to her social psych classes on gender roles in American society.”
“Enjoy that.”
“Disinterested nineteen-year-olds who smell like weed and won’t get off their phones? How could I not have the best time ever?”
She takes off and I lay down on the couch thinking of what I can do for the rest of the afternoon. Since I’ve become a slave to my phone I decide to check my social media. I was never that person who was glued to my phone, but now I have no choice. Even though ninety-nine-point-nine percent of people don’t know who I am, my channel is growing faster than most, which is like my own weird version of instant fame.
I go through some DM’s—mostly complimentary messages from my amazing fans—but then I see the first line of one that reads “Are you going to do the Conor Durden thing?”
What the hell? What Conor Durden thing?
I click and read the message from a follower of mine named @SamanthaMommy458. It says “Are you going to do the Conor Durden challenge? I really want you to, and I’m not alone.” Now I’m more confused than ever. But I don’t have time to write her back before I notice that I have a bunch of other messages sitting in my inbox, and I keep seeing Conor’s name in most of the messages. I click through a bunch of them, which mostly say the same thing—one of my fans asking me to take some challenge. And that’s when I leave my DM’s and check out the online country that I’m now a citizen of—YouTube.
I go to my subscriptions—and yes, I may have subscribed to Conor’s page a while ago, but don’t judge me, I don’t judge you for your viewing choices. I find his latest video, which was uploaded yesterday. It already has close to one million views.
The name of the video? Yup, you guessed it, The Conor Challenge.
Shoshana
“Holy Fucking Liar, Batman!”
That guy just doesn’t quit.
I can’t believe that this is how he decided to get my attention.
It took me a few minutes of searching, but after watching Conor’s video and scrolling through the comments I realized what he did. He tagged me in a picture on Instagram, telling his followers to check out his latest video.
I’m looking at that pic of Conor and I that he took at VidCon. We don’t look bad together at all. . . dammit, focus, Shosh, that’s not the point. . . but still. . .
Anyways, I hit “play” on the video, not at all mad that I have to listen to Conor’s sexy voice, but still curious what this