The Boyfriend Designer - Christopher Harlan Page 0,14
and I hate to tell you, but you have it right now—hard.”
“I don’t like what you’re suggesting. It’s gross. It’s silly. It’s. . .”
“The truth.” She says, cutting me off. “Look, you may find him repulsive as a human being, but you’re definitely into him physically, I can tell.”
“Woah, woah.” I put my hand up just like Conor did to me. Then I remember how obnoxious it was when he did it, and I put my hand right back where it was. “Where are you possibly getting that from? I mean, just because the man is clearly built like a Greek god underneath those really nice tailored clothes he was wearing, or just because I got hypnotized looking into those gorgeous eyes of his, or. . . wait, okay, I hear it now. But, still, you’re nuts. I hate Conor Durden. He sucks. He’s the worst.”
“Shosh, you’re overcompensating. It’s just you and me in the room. If you think the guy’s hot there’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t mean anything. He can be both things—let’s call him a hot asshole.”
“An ex of mine showed me a porn called that once.”
“Huh?”
“Nothing. Long story that I’d rather not get into. Look, maybe there’s a little something to what you’re saying. Like, grain of sand little. Maybe. Possibly.”
“Just a little?”
“Alright, fine, you finally broke me with your endless interrogation. He’s the hottest guy I’ve seen in a long time. I don’t know what came over me. I was all ready to tell him off, to tell him that I would pass on him too, and that his stupid channel objectified women. That was the plan anyhow.”
“And what happened?”
“I saw him. I saw him, and I melted.”
“Melted? Huh. That doesn’t sound like you at all.”
“Why? I’m as fully capable of melting as the next girl.”
“Oh yeah?” she asks. “When was the last time you melted? And what does that even mean?”
“Just because I can’t recall my last melting date off the top of my head does not mean that I’m incapable of it. And you know what it means, I’m sure you melted when you first saw Cormac.”
“I definitely did not,” she argues. “I hated Cormac when I first met him, and the feeling was totally mutual. You remember. We were oil and water.”
“Yeah, like oil and water who wanted to have sex with one another. Wait. . .” She laughs. “Made no sense, did it?”
“Nope. Sometimes your mouth is faster than your brain. But that’s also why I love you.”
“God, enough about you already, Tori. Can we get back to me and my dilemma?” I’m smiling so she knows that I’m being sarcastic—sometimes it can be hard to tell—but I’m also partially serious. I’m weirded out by the feelings I had when I saw Conor. I mean, I still spit on the ground he walks on. . . not literally, but in my head, there are oceans of my spit (eww) everywhere that jerk puts his giant feet. But my body is a different story—seeing him woke my body up like it had been in deep hibernation for years, and that was something that I never would have expected.
“You don’t have a dilemma just because you think that Conor is hot—he is hot. I’ve met him once before at another one of these things. He’s a little bit of a pig, but from a purely physical perspective he’s basically the perfect male. I get it. You like him.”
“So where do you want to get food?”
“You’re the most random person in the world, you know that, right?”
“Not random. Hungry. There’s a difference. Are you going to finish your vlog before we go? Do you need to change? I want to get to whatever restaurant doesn’t have a full house of influencers vlogging their entire meal.”
“I hate to break it to you but that’s happening no matter where we go.”
“Uhh,” I say in disgust. “Vloggers. I’ll tell you, man.”
“Shosh, you know that you’re one of them now, right?”
“I guess. I mean, people seem to like me.”
“Everyone loves you. That’s why your channel is blowing up as fast as it is. They love you.”
“Almost.”
“Huh?”
“Almost everyone loves me,” I remind her. And despite my best efforts to block him out, all I can think of is Conor. I look at the program that Tori printed out, while she packs up her video equipment, and see what the agenda is for the next couple of days. Oh look, it seems like the tall man with the green