“I’m not kidding with this, Cassius. I know it might be a good idea to fake a trade under different circumstances, but I can’t risk it.”
“I know.” His voice was soft and forgiving. “We’re going to figure this out. We might need to put him in a safe house he can’t get out of.”
“The only thing we have close to that right now is your house—which he could potentially steal a car from—and the prison, but we don’t have time to make a run there before Sinclair wants us at the meetup location. Normally, I lose a day going out to the prison.”
“I never go…” Cassius shrugged. No Investigator ever did.
They let Tribunal guards, low ranking people, handle the prison and the prisoner transport. Executioners only ever went when someone escaped or was due to be executed because new information revealed more about their crimes. As it stood, I was the only person higher than the guards who worked there who visited on a regular basis and only because I was close.
“So, the prison is out of the picture.”
“We’ll leave him here under the supervision of your staff. He’s not a danger to them. All that Catholic guilt stops him from being much of a threat to anyone.”
“You seem frustrated.”
“He’s strong enough to tear heads from shoulders, but he doesn’t. He evades, blocks them, wrecks their rides, but he could have defended himself a bit better when my house was attacked. He didn’t.” Yeah, I was frustrated. Raphael had power, and he wasn’t using it for anything worthwhile, and I figured if push finally came to shove, he still wouldn’t do what was necessary. And if he did, he would probably hate himself even more, and dealing with him would be impossible.
“It’s not wrong to want to avoid violence,” Cassius said diplomatically.
“He was going to join the human military. He doesn’t get to…” I trailed off, clamping my mouth closed and shaking my head. I wasn’t going to call him a hypocrite. I understood this was all shocking for him, and he needed time to adjust, so I kept my insults to myself a little while longer. “You’re right, it’s frustrating. Can you believe it? I finally meet someone who’s compatible, and he’s totally against the life I lead. He’s here because he knows we can protect him and teach him, but he doesn’t…”
“Like us. He doesn’t like supernaturals, and he doesn’t like the laissez-faire way you treat killing.”
“I kill because it keeps me alive,” I hissed. “I don’t think that’s inappropriate. I think it’s realistic.”
“It is. I’ve never been as violent as you, but I know the life you lead is for a reason. You don’t need to convince me, Kaliya. I have my problems with some of the things you do, and you’re someone people need to get used to, but there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Really? Because every time he opens his mouth…”
“Do you really care about his opinion?” my ex-lover asked, raising an eyebrow. “You never cared about mine. Not really. If I ever got you to apologize for something, it was because you felt you did something wrong, not because I convinced you that you did. Not because I looked at you differently for doing it.”
Do I care?
I was at a loss for words for a moment before sighing.
“Yeah, I do care. I don’t want to, but I do. I want him to like me, to understand me. I just met him. I barely know him, but I care that he looks at me and sees a killer. I care that I could never hurt him, even if I don’t want him, but he tried to shoot me the evening we met. Biology blows a lot of dick.”
“I can see that,” Cassius mumbled. “Or it wants you to blow more…”
“Was…did you just…” I pointed at him, trying to find the right way to ask the question. “Sorry I didn’t go down on you enough. The fangs make it a little precarious.”
“Oh, I know. I was trying to make a joke.”
“I wish I could say it was funny, but it just made me very uncomfortable,” I said to him, trying for a blank face.
“What makes you more uncomfortable? Me making jokes about our deceased relationship or the physical urges you must be feeling for Raphael that make you want to have one with him?”
I bared my teeth.
“I don’t want a relationship with him.”
“You want to have sex with him. Let’s not lie about that. When we started