to kill you. You realize that, don’t you? You promised we’d all go together our first time and buy gaudy tiaras with mouse ears on them and have our picture taken in front of the castle like cheesy tourists.
Zan: Ugh. You couldn’t pay me to go to that place, let alone in the middle of winter. What’s with you and theme parks? They’re not nearly as much fun as they look. That, I DO promise.
Lizzy: Well, I’ve never been to one, so I can’t say for sure, but I know I love cotton candy and popcorn and pretend, and I think I’m going to adore roller coasters. My soul is dying to be set free in a new, screaming-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-in-joyous-terror kind of way.
Zan: On a roller coaster?
Lizzy: Yes. Come on, admit it. The unbridled screaming part is amazing, isn’t it?
Zan: I’m sure you’ll be doing plenty of screaming during childbirth.
Lizzy: Very funny.
Zan: I wasn’t joking. From everything I’ve heard, it’s incredibly painful. And gory. Rather awful, really.
Lizzy: That’s because you collect horror stories. I’m sure you’ve heard dozens of lovely recollections of childbirth, but only the horrid stuff captured your full attention.
Zan: Can’t say I have, honestly. I think the not awful experiences are so rare, women feel guilty talking about them. Guilty and fearful that a woman with a horrible story will punch them in the face for having a magical, lucky vagina.
Lizzy: Well, Jeffrey thinks mine is pretty magical, so…
Zan: Gross.
Lizzy: LOL. It’s not gross. Sabrina and I talk about things like that all the time. You don’t have to be shy about your vagina in front of your sisters, especially your triplet sisters. We’re a vagina-chat safe zone.
Zan: Stop. You know I don’t do that kind of girl talk.
Lizzy: I know. I’m getting my revenge in advance for whatever it is you’ve done that you still haven’t told me.
Zan: I went on holiday with Nick. To Bali.
Lizzy: Oh. Wow. Well…okay. I bet Bali is beautiful. I’ve always wanted to go. Is the ocean warm? Even in winter?
Zan: I don’t know. I haven’t been to the beach yet.
Lizzy: What?! Why not? Too busy banging Nick’s brains out? *smirking emoji*
Zan: Sabrina told you already, didn’t she?
Lizzy: No, she didn’t. She didn’t have to. I’m not blind. I could tell you have a thing for him. That’s why you pretended to hate him so much.
Zan: It wasn’t pretend. At least, not at first.
Lizzy: Right. You were in denial. But now you’re not, and that’s good. So, I assume you two are having fun?
Zan: Um…yes. We are.
Lizzy: Lovely. Then I hope you have a great rest of your vacation.
Zan: That’s it? You’re not mad that I lied? Or worried that Nick and I having a fling will make things awkward for the family down the road?
Lizzy: No, of course not. You’re not going to have a fling. You’re going to fall deeply in love because you’re perfect for each other, even if the two of you haven’t realized it yet. But if you don’t end up together the way I’m certain you should, you’re both adults. You can handle any awkwardness that might arise with maturity and grace.
Zan: I’m not going to fall in love with him. I don’t do that anymore.
Lizzy: Right. And I’m not about to vomit in this potted plant.
Zan: Ew. Can’t you make it to the bathroom?
*Two Minutes Later*
Lizzy: Ugh. No, too late. And no, I can’t. That’s why I had potted plants put at regular intervals in the hallways. This way, I can take them outside and do the clean-up myself before any of the maids come running with a bucket of water and the carpet cleaner, and I have to feel awful about someone else dealing with me being sick. Speaking of, I’m off to sneak my plant out the back door. Have a lovely trip, and be sure to make time to get in the ocean. Bang in it if you have to, but I need to know exactly what the water feels like. I love collecting good memories, even if they’re not mine.
Zan: I love you. Take care of yourself. Go see a doctor if you need to.
Lizzy: I will. But I’m fine, I promise. Love you, too, and sending all the happily-ever-after vibes your way.
Chapter Seventeen
Alexandra
I’m not going to fall in love with Nick.
That’s not even in the realm of possibility.
Lizzy’s absolutely going to be disappointed.
I recite these truths to myself over and over as Nick and I enjoy a delicious breakfast with