“Ward sent me a letter, but I never opened it,” I admit. “Maybe I should.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t?” I echo, totally surprised.
“Good grief, you sweet thing, go talk to him in person. Sort this out. It’s not going to happen passing notes back and forth like junior high,” she says with a soft grandmotherly smile.
“No promises. Maybe I’ll read it and decide if I want to talk to him...but I don’t think I can handle having my heart ripped out again.”
“Ask yourself one thing,” she says, her scarf billowing in the breeze. “Why would he take the time to write a letter if he simply didn’t care?”
I don’t know.
Maybe for the same reason he wrote Winthrope—guilt.
His conscience can’t carry the load.
“I need to ask you a question. I don’t have the right, but this is my grandson, so I need to know anyhow,” she says.
Jeez. What now?
“Do you love him?”
She’s a hell of a shot. My mouth drops. I wasn’t expecting that.
“Um, I mean...honestly? As much as you can love a guy who runs over your heart in his fancy Tesla, stops to slather it in that expensive scotch he likes and lights it on fire, then backs up and runs over it again.”
Her laugh is too contagious. I can’t help smiling back as she says, “Relationships are hard. We’ve all been there, and someday you’ll be there again. It’s called commitment because you see it through, even when it hurts.”
“But if I read the letter first, at least I’ll know what he’s thinking.”
“You’re all he’s thinking about,” she says quickly.
“He said that?” My eyes go wide.
“He didn’t need to. He’s grumpier than usual. He never leaves the office. I’m not even sure he’s eating unless Grayson shoves a pile of meat in his face. I know he’s lost a few pounds.”
I smile. “We only ate when I got hungry.”
She raises a knowing eyebrow at me.
A moment of silence passes.
“You know where he is now, don’t you?” she asks.
“Um, right. I left my keycard for the office at the penthouse the day I walked out.”
She digs in her purse and hands me a sleek white card. “Use mine.”
“Thanks.” I stand. “Should we ride to the office together?”
“And be accused of more meddling?” She winks at me. “I wouldn’t dare.”
“Okay.” I plan to move, but my feet are glued to the ground. “Are you sure? He was pretty clear about how much he didn’t love me last time.”
“He was talking from his fool head. I’m confident his tongue has had ample time to listen to his heart.”
“So, if I go in and he doesn’t—”
“If I’m misleading you, you’re welcome to hold it against me forever. Also, I’ll buy you a world-class art studio with my personal endorsement. But I’m not wrong. Why would I be?” she says with a wink.
I want her confidence someday—especially now, when I’m biting my bottom lip.
“Wishful thinking?” I venture.
“My only wish is seeing my grandsons happy, and you. Go.” She motions me on with both hands.
I clasp the white card in my hands and force my legs to work.
I’m terrified and elated.
I don’t think she would have tried quite so hard if she wasn’t sure she was right. But I’ll never forget what he said.
He doesn’t love me.
He’s not the marrying type, and if he were, I’m not the One.
God. I hope she’s right, and I hope I’m strong enough for this.
The whole drive there, I’m ten seconds from taking a detour and heading home. If he’s so torn up about it and cares so much, why hasn’t he come to me?
I keep reminding myself of my conversation with Beatrice. She thinks he loves me. It sounds like his brother thinks he loves me, too.
Am I about to make a huge fool of myself?
I park in the company garage. “You can do this, Paige. If he tells you to go to hell, you haven’t lost anything.”
I stop at the cafè downstairs and order a black drip coffee and a sandwich bursting with curried chicken and bacon. I wave Beatrice’s card in front of the Brandt Ideas elevator.
It dings open.
Nerves swirl so hard my stomach lurches. I wait too long to step out and the doors close again.
Inhale. Exhale. Do this.
It’s a little surreal stepping into a sleek, quiet hallway I haven’t been in for weeks. I squeeze my eyes shut and move one foot in front of the other, stopping at his office door.
“You can do this,” I whisper one last time, even as I’m becoming a human ice