time explaining to someone how I wanted a job done than it would've taken me to do the job myself, there was no benefit to keeping them on the payroll. Did it leave me looking like an impossible manager with even more impossible expectations? Yes. Did it mean everything got done right the first time? Yes. Mostly.
And that was how I found myself with a skeleton crew for an office staff.
"The phones are forwarded to a remote call center. I get an update from them every morning at six. IT is also outsourced. I have someone who handles payables and receivables. Offsite though Hazel does stop into the office about twice a month," I offered. "And there's an intern from one of the local colleges."
She flung her arms out wide. "Where?"
"He's only around during the school year." I ignored her aggravated murmur as I unwrapped her sandwich. "Eat. Please. We can index my issues once your stomach's growling has quieted to a low roar."
"Growling," Zelda muttered while she rearranged her food. "As if I'm the one growling here." She spared me a glance. "Since I'm going to need to do more than organize your calendar, this would be a fantastic time for you to explain to me what it is you do. You know, beyond Grumpy Businessman."
"Grumpy Businessman is not my job," I replied.
"Funny, I was convinced otherwise."
She jerked a shoulder up as she bit into her sandwich and I didn't know how the hell I was expected to survive a full day of her right there without making things exactly as indecent as they were in my head.
"I'm an accountant. I specialize in financial auditing. I've told you this before."
She patted a paper napkin to her lips, saying, "You have, yes, and you'll need to hold your grumpy grumblings about that for a later date. So, what do you account for? Paint me the picture, Ash. Walk me through it and pretend I don't know where you're taking me."
"Can we bring a blanket and a picnic basket? Because that sounds like something I'd enjoy."
"Unfortunately for your blanket, I'm only interested in talking about accounting and auditing." She snatched a pad of sticky notes and a ballpoint pen from my desk. "I want to hear about the work you do. Help me understand so I can help you."
I reached for my coffee while I gathered my thoughts. I knew how to answer her question but there was something nuanced about answering it for the woman who'd stepped into my world and created a new place for herself beside me. "I started off focused exclusively on financial audits where I'd spend a week or so in fieldwork. I'd go through an organization's books, come back here to churn through it, and write up a report. That was the deal I made with my dad, actually. He'd hang on to his existing tax and small business bookkeeping clients, I'd develop a new base of auditing clients."
"Except it hasn't gone that way," she said.
I shook my head. "Not at all. He picks up new clients every time he leaves the house which would be fine except for the issue of him scaling back his time in the office and having hardly any support staff—"
"So it's a genetic condition," Zelda said. "That makes more sense."
I pitched a brow up as I sipped my coffee. "At first, I didn't mind running a few individual tax returns. In most cases, it's quick work. But then it wasn't just tax returns. It was bookkeeping for a meat market in New Bedford, it was an annual report for a church, it was payroll for a dance studio."
"All while you're trying to pick up audit clients," she said.
"Yeah and it wasn't difficult to delegate that work to an accounting assistant."
"Back when you had one, that is."
I rapped my knuckles against the table. "It's almost like you pleasure in reminding me that I can't keep anyone on staff."
Sidestepping that comment completely, Zelda asked, "What are your big projects right now? Is it still auditing with a side of your dad's strays?"
For a minute, I debated keeping this part of the story to myself. I didn't have a good reason for it aside from not wanting to hear another person tell me it didn't make sense. But this was Zelda and fuck me if I could keep anything from her. "For the past year, I've been taking on clients with different needs. Consulting with organizations about tax strategy. Setting up payroll