The Bookworm's Guide to Faking (The Bookworm's Guide #2) - Emma Hart Page 0,33

“I know. Believe me, I know. But since we’re at a hotel and I have no way of leaving and nowhere else to sleep, it’s not like I’m going anywhere else.”

“I’ll—"

“Sebastian, what you don’t know is that the reason you kissing her hurt so much was because I was going to tell you that I had feelings for you.”

His eyes widened, flashing with surprise.

“So excuse me if I need a moment to figure out what the hell I just learned, because this is a mess.” I tapped the side of my head and, on that note, walked out of the room.

And the suite.

Right into the hall where nobody else was and it was silent and I was alone.

I walked, keeping my head down. And I walked and I walked and I walked, taking cases of stairs up and down and through corridors. I passed a gym and a sauna, a spa, and at least two restaurants and a bar.

I don’t know how long I walked for, but finally, I stopped. The wall in front of me was purely windows, and it looked like a huge upstairs lobby. Rustic leather sofas overlooked the windows, and I dropped down onto one, my gaze never leaving outside.

And finally, I cried.

Cried for my eighteen-year-old broken heart.

Cried for the loss of our friendship.

Cried for what could have been.

And cried because I was so, so fucking stupid.

CHAPTER ELEVEN – SEBASTIAN

rule eleven: don’t break a girl’s heart before you need her to be your girlfriend.

She’d had feelings for me.

I’d woken up a thousand times last night and that was the only fucking thought I’d had.

Holley had had feelings for me, too.

Shit.

This was a mess.

I rolled onto my back and looked at the other side of the bed. I’d woken up several minutes ago at the sound of the shower starting. I had no idea if she’d slept in the bed last night, but I was going to feel like a royal shit if she hadn’t.

I never should have told her.

Not last night. Not like that.

I should have waited until tonight when this was all over or, even better, tomorrow morning once the wedding was done and I was taking her to get her car.

I forced myself into sitting up and rubbed my eyes. They were blurry and full of sleep, and I yawned and stretched in an attempt to wake myself up fully.

The shower was still running at full speed, so I leaned over for the phone on Holley’s side of the bed and dialed for room service. After ordering us coffee and an array of breakfast things, I got up and put on a t-shirt.

That had been a point of contention for her last night, and I didn’t want to annoy her any further.

The shower water cut off as I sat back down. The wedding wasn’t until this afternoon, so there was plenty of time for us to talk over what I’d said last night.

At least I hoped we could.

We needed to clear the air. I didn’t begrudge her for the way she’d reacted back then—we were so young, and it wasn’t like I’d ever told anyone how I felt about her. There was nobody to back me up, and by the time there was, it was too late.

She’d scrubbed me out of her life.

It stung that it was all over a mistake, but that was why I’d let her go last night. If I was shaken by the revelation that she’d once had feelings for me, I couldn’t imagine how she felt.

Did she feel the same way I did? That it’d all been for, what was, essentially nothing? It’d been a huge misunderstanding, and if it’d happened now, maybe it would have ended differently.

I know it would have.

If it’d happened now, there was no way I’d ever have left without telling her the truth.

Back then, I hadn’t had the balls to make her listen.

If I regretted not making her listen, did she regret not letting me talk when I’d tried?

That was a stupid question. I knew her—she hadn’t changed, not like she pretended she had. That was why she’d needed to go last night. It was because she’d needed to reconcile what she knew now with what she thought she knew.

She wasn’t the only one.

I couldn’t believe she’d felt the same way I had.

If I’d known…

I blew out a long breath and leaned back against the headboard, turning to look out of the window. The early morning sun glinted off the snow, and the lingering