The Bookworm's Guide to Faking (The Bookworm's Guide #2) - Emma Hart Page 0,32
I hadn’t realized just how tired I really was until I got into bed here.
I put my phone back on the nightstand, set my glasses on top of it, and nestled down under the covers to stare out of the huge windows that looked out over the resort. Neither of us had closed the drapes, so I had a full view of the beautiful, snow-covered mountains as the moon glinted off them.
Seb put his phone down, too, plunging the room into another level of darkness. He shifted, rolling onto his back if the dip in the mattress was anything to go by.
“Holley?”
“What?” I whispered back.
“That night. At prom.”
I swallowed. “Really? Now?”
“Yes, now.”
I wasn’t going to turn around. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear this. “Okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “I guess it’s better getting it out in the open, right?
“Do you remember what you wore?”
What on Earth made him think I’d forgotten? “Of course I remember. It was senior prom and one of the worst nights of my life.”
“It was that red dress. It was all poofy at the bottom, and you kept saying you felt like a freaking mermaid because you couldn’t walk.”
What the…
“But you looked amazing.”
This time, I knew I was blushing.
“And you had your hair up. It was all twisted with bits around your face and a red rose in the back.”
“How do you remember that?”
“Because Iris was wearing a dress like yours and had her hair up, too.”
“Right.” My tone was bitter. “She knew what I was wearing. She did it deliberately to get at me.”
“Whyever she did it, she didn’t look half as beautiful as you did.”
“Then why did you kiss her?”
He sighed, and the moment that passed was heavy, the air almost thickening in the silence. “Because,” he said softly. “I thought she was you.”
I froze.
What did he just say?
“What?”
“I was going to kiss you.”
I jerked up, my momentary paralysis gone, and sat up, turning to look at him. Thanks to the fact we hadn’t closed the curtains, I could see his face perfectly.
He was staring up at the ceiling with his hands clasped on top of the covers, not moving.
“What?” I asked again, my mouth completely dry. “You were going to kiss me?”
Another sigh, and he turned his head to look at me. “Yes. I was looking for you. Someone said they’d seen you go in that direction, and from behind, Iris looked like you. It was really fucking dark, and I was certain it was you. I didn’t even know it was her or that you’d seen us until after you’d left. Tori and Ivy gave me the verbal lashing of my life.”
My heart was thumping so harshly I could barely speak. I knew what he was saying, but I didn’t know, and I was so confused.
Well, I was wide awake now.
“You—you were going to kiss me? Why?”
“Why do you think? I was about to leave. I didn’t want to go without telling you how I felt.” His eyelashes cast long shadows over his cheeks as he blinked. “If you felt the same, great, we could figure something out. If you didn’t feel the same, then it didn’t matter. I was leaving anyway, and I figured we could just move on.”
The lump in my throat was huge. I could feel emotion building inside me, and it was torrent, a tornado, something that would absolutely burst from me if I didn’t leave right now and get it under control.
It’d all been for nothing.
All of it.
I’d lost my best friend over a stupid, stupid mistake.
All because I hadn’t wanted to listen to him.
I swallowed, but the lump didn’t disappear. It only grew bigger, and when the telltale sting of tears pricked the back of my eyes, I had no choice.
I couldn’t stay here right now.
I threw the covers off me and hauled my ass out of the bed, moving quickly to where my open case was lying by the window.
“Holley—”
Shaking my head, I grabbed a thick sweater and threw it over my head, then tugged on my Ugg boots. A room key was under the TV, and I slid it off the desk so I knew I could get back in.
“What are you doing?”
“I just—I can’t.” I held up my hands, and my entire body vibrated with the effort it took for me to not break down and let years of emotion loose. “I can’t… I need to process this. I’m taking a walk.”