The Bookstore on the Beach - Brenda Novak Page 0,86
That’s terrible, isn’t it?”
His nostrils flared slightly. “I can hardly be objective here, so I think I’m the wrong person to ask.”
“What I’m saying is that I’m sitting here, enjoying your food and your company and hoping we make love again. I can feel myself falling away from Nick. My memories of him are growing dimmer by the second. It’s such a strange sensation.”
“It’s natural for you to be scared of letting go of what you had.”
“I’m too wound up, too unpredictable, too confused. It would be better—for you—if we didn’t keep this going.”
“I don’t believe it would be better for either one of us.”
She said nothing. He seemed so confident, and she wanted to believe him.
“What if I was willing to take my chances?” he asked. “Would you quit worrying about me, at least?”
She felt as though she was standing in a doorway, hanging on to Nick with one hand while reaching out to Quinn with the other. In order to take Quinn’s hand, however, she first had to let go of Nick’s. “If I continue seeing you, my kids are bound to find out. Heck, my car’s in the lot right now, next to yours. I’m sure that won’t go unnoticed.”
“Then tell Taylor and Caden that we’re seeing each other,” he said. “Be completely up-front.”
She was trying to imagine how that might go over when he got up and came around to kneel by her.
“Autumn, it’s me.”
She closed her eyes. “I know. That’s the problem.”
“I’d rather not be a secret. I don’t want to have to sneak around. And I don’t want you to feel as though we’re doing something wrong.”
She opened her eyes to find him watching her intently and couldn’t help admiring the thick black eyelashes that framed his blue eyes. How many times had she dreamed of him? “You’re not making this easy.”
One hand went around her neck and pulled her forward so he could peck her lips. “Give me a real shot.”
“I want to.” She rested her forehead against his. “I just don’t know how to make it work. I can’t bring a new man into my life. I don’t want to rush my kids, not after what they’ve been through.”
“My being part of your life—and theirs—doesn’t have to be a negative thing. You want them to be happy, right?”
“Of course.”
He kissed her again, this time softly, gently, but with more intent. “Then why not assume they want you to be happy, too?” he murmured.
“I’ll think about it. But right now, all I can think about is you.”
* * *
Mary was wide awake and sitting on Autumn’s bed, waiting for her to come home, when she heard the engine of a car and got up to see Autumn pull into the drive. It was nearly two. Where had she been? Nothing was open after midnight in Sable Beach.
“Autumn?” she called as soon as her daughter entered the garage and started climbing the stairs to the apartment. She didn’t want to scare her.
The footsteps stopped. “It’s just me,” she added to let her know Taylor and Caden weren’t with her.
The footsteps started again, this time moving more quickly, and Autumn appeared in the doorway. “Has something happened to the kids?” she asked, sounding worried.
“No, they’re fine.”
“And you?”
“I’m fine, too,” Mary replied, even though she’d just had a vivid nightmare in which she’d gone to meet Tammy, and as soon as she got there, Tammy had locked her into the basement of a strange house and disappeared, and Jeff and Nora had emerged from some dark corner. No matter what they did to her, no matter how many times she cried out for help, Tammy would not come to her rescue. In the weird way of dreams, Tammy had been there in the beginning, and then she wasn’t, and she didn’t seem to care that she’d put Mary right back into the terrifying situation she’d escaped so long ago.
When Mary had finally jerked awake, she’d been drenched in sweat. Fortunately, if she’d made any noise, it was late enough that Caden and Taylor were sleeping so soundly she hadn’t disturbed anyone. “The question is...are you okay? I was worried when I looked out and noticed that your car was gone. I tried calling and texting you. When I got no response, I came up here and found you’d left your cell phone.” She pointed to where it was charging on the nightstand.
Mary had thought that maybe Autumn had gone somewhere because she was upset and couldn’t