The Bookstore on the Beach - Brenda Novak Page 0,85
caught Caden having sex with a girl in your backyard?” he asked.
She finished her salad as she tried to decide. “I’m not sure. That’s definitely something I would want his father to talk to him about. But since Nick is no longer around... I guess I’m lucky that Caden hasn’t had a steady girlfriend.”
“You realize there’s not necessarily a correlation between those two things,” he pointed out.
She admired the laugh lines around his mouth and eyes as he buttered his roll. “True, but I don’t think he’s sexually active quite yet. Taylor, on the other hand, got a boyfriend right before Nick disappeared, and they were together for over a year. I’m guessing they did some experimenting, even if they didn’t go all the way. I warned her about using birth control, of course, just in case. But I was going through so much myself—was up all hours of the night trying to find Nick, and then I struggled through most of the day taking care of my kids and the rest of my life. I couldn’t watch over her as closely as I should have.”
“Well, it all worked out. Even if they did go all the way, at least she didn’t get pregnant.”
“Thank God.” She put her empty bowl on top of her salad plate. “Everything has been delicious so far, Quinn.”
“One of the benefits of dating the son of a restaurateur,” he joked.
“Is that what we’re doing? Dating?” That word sounded so odd to her ears. She’d never imagined herself having to go back on the singles market, hadn’t even reconciled herself to the fact that she was now available. Her husband was gone, but what did one do to make it official in a situation like this?
There was some protocol for divorced and widowed people. But she wasn’t divorced and wasn’t certain she’d been widowed.
Once he finished with his soup and salad, Quinn folded his arms and leaned back. “I would hope whatever we’re doing isn’t only about sex. As good as it was this morning, I’m looking for more than hooking up now and then.”
“You want a wife, a family.”
He said nothing. He’d already admitted as much at the beach.
“But I don’t really know where I stand with my marriage, my life. What I can do and feel good about. What to tell you to expect.”
“We don’t have to make those decisions right now,” he said.
He’d indicated that they’d take it slow, and she’d tried to accept that. But what she was feeling didn’t reflect slow. When she looked at him, she felt completely swallowed up by desire, almost as if nothing had changed in twenty years. “And yet we’d be reckless—with your heart and mine—to ignore what we might face in the future.”
He studied her for several seconds. “Are you still in love with Nick, Autumn?”
“I love him. I don’t know if I’m ‘in love’ with him anymore. Would I want you as badly as I did this morning if I was in love with someone else? That’s what I can’t figure out. I’m hurt, confused, angry—and lonely. And as much as I can’t believe my husband left me for another woman, there’s always that possibility. So I don’t even know if I owe him my fidelity, which of course I broke this morning.” She gazed into the liquid in her glass. “I’m going back to Tampa in less than two months, Quinn, and long-distance relationships rarely work out. If I were you, I’d probably play it safe and stay away from me.”
“If I could, I would, but...”
She looked up.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever felt the way I felt on the beach this morning. That alive. That engaged. Certainly not for a long time.”
“That’s just because you’re lonely, too,” she said, but he shook his head.
“That isn’t all of it. Given our history, maybe it’s poetic justice for me to want you and for you not to want me in return. But this time, I wasn’t in it just for the sex. Whatever was happening, it felt right—like it was meant to be.”
She toyed with the edge of her napkin. “There’s so much to consider. I can’t promise you anything. And you’ve been through so much already, with Sarah.”
“You and I could have something special, Autumn,” he said. “I suspect you think that’s true, too. That’s why you’re spooked.”
“This morning was the first time I’ve had sex with anyone except Nick since I met him. And instead of being appalled and regretful, I want more.