friend, Danielle Kent, who’d followed up with a text message.
Answer your phone! You’re not going to believe who I just saw at the mall.
Who?
Oliver Hancock.
She didn’t want to talk about Oliver. Danielle and her other friends assumed she liked him—he probably did, too—because she’d had sex with him at a party two weeks ago. But that incident held no meaning for her. She’d simply been trying to shock herself into feeling something.
Too bad that night hadn’t fixed anything. Even when she’d been with him, she hadn’t felt anything. She’d just stared at the ceiling, totally numb, wishing he’d hurry up and finish. Although she’d been vaguely aware that they hadn’t used a condom, she’d also been too reckless to do anything about it—couldn’t bring herself to care—and now she had to worry about the possible consequences.
Can’t talk right now. What’d he say? she wrote back, acting interested only because she knew Danielle would expect her to.
He wanted your number!
Taylor grimaced.
Did you give it to him?
I did.
“Shit,” she muttered.
“Something wrong, honey?” Mimi was wearing a long turquoise beach dress, her knees pulled into her chest and rope-like sandals on her feet. Taylor had always thought her grandmother was beautiful in an ethereal, almost untouchable way. With silver hair, light blue eyes that slanted slightly upward and high cheekbones, she could’ve been a model. She was definitely prettier than the grandmothers of Taylor’s friends, but Mimi was also a lot younger than most of them. She’d had Autumn when she was only sixteen.
Taylor hated that she might be following in her grandmother’s footsteps and having a baby when she was way too young. She knew better and should’ve been more careful. “No. Nothing.” Why say yes? Where would she even begin to explain?
This was where the acting came in...
Caden got to his feet, caught her eye and jerked his head toward the water. “Want to go for a swim?”
She knew part of the reason they fought so often was because she’d withdrawn from him. But she couldn’t help it; she was hurting too badly to try any harder than she was. “No.”
She could tell he was disappointed. Even Mimi glanced over as though she wished Taylor would change her mind. So she forced herself to relent. “Okay,” she said grudgingly. “Go ahead. I’ll be out in a sec.”
“Are you excited for your senior year?” Mimi asked as they both watched Caden run into the ocean and dive beneath the surf.
Taylor turned off her phone and slipped it into her bag. She didn’t want anyone to touch it, including her grandmother and especially her brother, if, for some reason, he came out of the ocean before she did. He’d be disgusted if he learned what she’d done with Oliver. Since she wasn’t even attracted to Caden’s ex-best friend, she was disgusted at herself. “Yeah,” she lied. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Where would you like to go to college?”
Her grades had fallen so much she wasn’t sure she’d be able to get into college—although she had done surprisingly well on the SAT. That could save her, providing something else didn’t get in the way, like a pregnancy. She wished she knew when to expect her period, but she hadn’t been paying any attention to her monthly cycle. Since she’d broken up with her boyfriend just before Christmas and had gone off the pill, there hadn’t been any reason to. “Mom said that Old Dominion is only two and a half hours from here. Maybe I’ll go there, so I can drive over and see you whenever I have the time.”
“I’d love that,” Mimi said. “It would be great if Caden chose Old Dominion, too.”
She stood and dusted the sand off her legs. “He’s hoping to get a water polo scholarship, so I doubt we’ll go to the same college.” That was another reason she was pulling away from her brother. They were going to be separated soon, regardless, and she couldn’t face another loss, had to be more prepared for the next one.
“Of course.” The bangles on Mimi’s wrist jangled as she shaded her eyes. “How’s your mother been doing?”
Taylor could tell by the tone of Mimi’s voice that this wasn’t a casual question. “I couldn’t tell you. She doesn’t talk to us about how she’s feeling.”
“Because she doesn’t want to make what you’re going through any worse,” Mimi explained, always quick to defend her daughter.
Caden came to the surface, threw back his hair and went under again.
“I think Mom’s decided Dad’s not coming