Dom’s passion for the piece did excite her on some level.
“I worry about you, Mackenzie, that’s all. Working two jobs, looking out for everyone but yourself. Have you had any man-fun since you gave Kyle the boot?”
“Martin, please.” She glanced around but knew they were not within earshot of the classroom. She hadn’t thought about her ex-fiancй in ages and preferred to keep it that way.
“Or are you still worried about what happened with your cousin last year?”
Setting her empty cup down at her feet, she folded her arms across her knees and stared at the floor before answering.
“Constantly. If you truly understood what my family has been through, you’d understand. Stacy is the third cousin of mine to disappear. Of course I worry I’m next. Wouldn’t you be?”
She tugged at the hem of her skirt, thinking he couldn’t fully appreciate the cloud of dread she lived under each and every day.
“It’s not like I have a family history of heart disease,” she continued, “where healthy living can reduce my chances of getting it. This is a very real possibility and if it’s going to happen to me, it’ll probably happen soon.”
“You’re so fatalistic. I say you live your life and if you fall in love, well, so much the better.”
“Do you think it’s fair to jeopardize the future happiness of a husband and children in the event something does happen to me? It’s hard to imagine the overwhelming devastation you feel when you lose a parent. It’s a living nightmare that you never wake from. I know what that feels like, Martin, and I just can’t do that to a child. It’s a choice I’ve made. You mentioned Kyle—I have to admit, it was the knowledge that I could never have children that ruined things between the two of us, and it made me realize what a fool I had been.”
“He knew you didn’t ever want kids, didn’t he?”
Noticing a scuff on the top of her black boot, she licked her finger and rubbed it off. A few more students filed into the classroom and she glanced at her watch. She’d have to get going soon.
“Yeah, but I think he was hoping I’d change my mind after we were married. When I got the news from my doctor, although it was a relief to me, it was the reason he needed to call things off.”
“God, that guy was an ass. I never did like him, Kenz. I’m sorry, darling, but I just didn’t.”
“I’m fine with it all, I really am. I don’t know what I was thinking when we got engaged in the first place. Long-term just isn’t something I can have. Strictly short-term only, if anything. I was fooling myself into thinking I could have a normal life, I guess. It’s actually much easier living only for yourself and not worrying about what loved ones will do when you’re gone. Mom hardly remembers me any longer and Corey… Well, he’s Corey.”
“Isn’t he worried like you are?”
“No, not really. He’s in denial, whereas I…I’m a realist.” She sat up and tucked a leg under herself, the leather from her tall boot sliding easily against the fabric of the chair. “What am I doing discussing all this heavy stuff with you? You’re my boss.”
Of course he was her boss, but he was also one of her best friends. One of the few people she could really talk to. Although she knew he didn’t really understand—could anyone?—he always listened, validating her feelings whether he agreed with them or not.
“Friend first, boss last. I’d be lost without you, darling. I hate hearing you talk like this.”
“Oh, Martin. Don’t say that. You’d be fine without me. That’s why I’m extremely organized in case something happens. You’ve seen the detailed notebooks and materials I have on each class. Someone could pick up right where I’ve left off without skipping a beat. You’d be fine.”
“I’m not talking about the stupid classes, silly. I’m talking about you.”
“Don’t go there. Please. That’s the one thing I can’t control.”
He reached over and patted the back of her hand. They sat there in silence as another student entered the classroom across the hall. Glancing at her watch, she made a move to stand up, but Martin held her back.
“Kenz, since you’re so worried about the future, why not focus on the present? Dom Serrano is such a hottie. If he went the other way, I swear, I’d be all over him.”