he could have me.
Power.
It had flooded my veins and held me in place. It was amazing what feeling like you’re being heard—being seen—can do to you. As soon as he’d gone to shower, my hand flew between my legs, and I’d clamped my bottom lip under my teeth to hold back my moans as I came within seconds.
I’d wanted to give in.
But I didn’t. I wouldn’t be someone’s booty call for five years.
I wouldn’t be ordered to be a body purely for pleasure just because I was his wife.
I hadn’t escaped Camden just to do it with Nico.
Camden’s promise of having me whenever and however he’d wanted me haunted me more than I thought. I’d shoved it aside, focused on my plans with Nico, unaware that it lingered, touching every decision I made. Like a scar, it wasn’t very visible, but always there.
I’d almost forgotten it after the magical day and night, but when he’d started undoing the buttons on my dress and tossed me on the bed, I was sure he would take, especially when I just sat there panting with need.
But he hadn’t. He’d been arrogant and demanding but still respectful.
I focused back on the man in front of me, his chest a dusting of dark hair rising and falling over his deep, even breathing. His face calm in sleep without his usual look of annoyance or placidity.
We left for our two-week honeymoon today, and I couldn’t help but wonder if every night would be like last night.
Would I be able to be as strong as last night with my body on fire? How long could I burn when he offered to put out the fire? Was I strong enough?
I had to be. I would be.
At the very least, I wanted a friendship—a partner like my mother had described. Even if it never turned to love, five years was a long time to be with someone you disliked. I couldn’t sleep with someone who saw me as an inferior woman, there to service their needs, and Nico had made his thoughts clear about how he saw me with each menial task he gave me at work. Part of the reason I’d gone through with this was because I could still work—I could prove how valuable I was.
I needed Nico to see that value beyond being a plaything before I ever considered sleeping with him.
So, even if every night for the next five years was a repeat of last night—even if I was nothing but a pile of ash in the end, I would hold strong.
At the very least, I would enjoy the vacation and seeing the world.
I was in control. Me. Not him. Not anyone else.
“Good morning.”
Nico’s morning voice always hit me differently. The deep rasp sounded like sex—hard, rough, intense. It slipped in my ears and climbed down my body to my core. Dammit.
“Morning.”
Tension pulled tight like a rubber band. There weren’t many mornings we woke up together since he woke up first to exercise most mornings.
His eyes roamed my face, and I strived to hide the mixture of heat and nerves flooding me. His lips ticked up on one side, and without my permission, my eyes dropped like a homing beacon, remembering every second that they’d been on mine.
The blankets shifted, and I tensed, holding my breath, trying to mentally prepare for him to strut around the room naked, like an unashamed Greek god.
Don’t look. Don’t look.
Ooooor, don’t let him catch you looking.
Seriously, how did that fit inside me?
Jesus, Vera. Don’t look.
I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t have time to pull back when he leaned in, placing a quick peck to my cheek, grazing the corner of my mouth. I blinked, shocked by the move, staring off at the perfect spot that when he flung the covers back and stood, his firm, hard ass lined up perfectly with my shocked gaze.
His ass was the definition of the saying, you could bounce a quarter off it.
Too quickly and not quickly enough all at once, a pair of sweatpants covered his perfect butt, and he turned, leaving me to stare at the bulge pressing against the material.
Is this how he felt when he came out to find me in my lingerie? Because men in sweatpants was like lingerie for women.
“We leave in a few hours. I figured that gave us enough time for breakfast.”
I blinked away, finally looking up his sculpted chest to meet his humored gaze.
“I’ll order breakfast then shower. Care to join me?”