I am sitting up. My head falls forward, jolting me awake again. I rub my eyes, trying to remain alert for a little longer. Colton is on the other side of the room, searching for clean clothes for me. I should be embarrassed that he’s going through my drawers, but I’m not. I feel disgusting and am in desperate need of a shower, but that will have to wait. He shuts the dresser drawers and walks back to me, placing a t-shirt and pair of athletic shorts on the bed beside me.
He starts to turn around to leave, but I reach out and grab his arm, “Wait, please don’t leave me.” So many fears I have bubble to the surface and I start to panic. I’m afraid to be alone. I’m afraid that someone is going to come and take me again. I’m afraid that when I close my eyes, I won’t see any of these people again. I’m afraid that I am dreaming and I’m still in the concrete cell.
I’m afraid.
“Just turn around while I change.” He listens to me and turns around, patiently waiting. I discard my dirty clothing on the floor and put on the clean ones. The clean soft fabric feels like Heaven against my dirty rough skin.
I reach out and tap him on the shoulder, telling him it is safe to turn around. “Will you lay with me until I fall asleep? I don’t want to be alone.”
He watches me for a few moments, before crawling over to the other side of bed. He pulls me against him with one arm and grabs the covers with his other hand. I press myself against his side, resting my head on his shoulder, finally feeling warmth for the first time in a couple of days.
“Go to sleep, Ry.”
And I do just that.
I roll over, still half-asleep, but hearing voices outside my door, I try to get as far away from them as I can. The image of Adam coming towards me keeps running through my head. My heart starts beating rapidly, like it wants to escape, and my breathing increases. I don’t want him anywhere near me. I start thrashing and squirming. Only when I fall to the ground with a thud, twisted amongst the blankets and covers, do I fully wake up.
My bedroom door slams open and two sets of hands reach down to untangle me and help me up. Standing up, Liam and Colton both look at me with a worried countenance. I sway as the room starts spinning around me. Colors stream together, making it impossible to focus on my surroundings. I realize for the first time how long it has been since I’ve eaten anything. Colton reaches out and grabs me before I fall. As if reading my mind, he asks, “Ryanne, what was the last thing you ate?”
“Umm….Claire’s pancakes.”
He turns me around so I am facing him. “Claire’s pancakes? The ones she made a week ago?”
I was gone for a week? I’m not sure if I am surprised because how long I was gone or because it feels like it was longer than that. “I guess.”
He hands me over to Liam, like I am nothing more than a ragdoll and says, “Help her. I’m going find her something to eat.” I watch his back as he leaves the room.
“I’m in desperate need of a shower. I’m sure I reek,” I tell Liam. He walks me over to the bathroom, grabs a towel, sets it on the counter, and turns the water on for me. He turns back to me, a lost look in his eyes.
I giggle at him, “Just knock on the door every now and then to check and make sure I haven’t passed out or anything.” Relieved, he nods and gently closes the bathroom door behind him.
I undress and step into the shower, sitting directly under the showerhead. I don’t trust myself to stand up. The last thing I need is to slip and fall. The water warmed to perfection feels amazing against my skin. All the negativity starts to slip away the longer I’m in here and peacefulness overcomes me. I’m completely alone, but tranquil. I close my eyes and angle my head up, enjoying the feeling of the water cascading down me. I lather shampoo through my hair, smiling as the sweet-pea aroma wafts through the bathroom.
I hear a knock on the bathroom door, reminding me that I am not actually alone anymore. I am surrounded by people