“Hey, I didn’t get your name!” I heard her call after me.
I didn’t answer. I just kept walking.
And it wasn’t until I got into my car, I realized I hadn’t asked Elena a thing about her life like I was supposed to.
My phone beeped just as I was about to pull away. It was a text from Lincoln.
Can’t wait to see you tonight.
Just like that, I felt overwhelmed by resentment.
Jamie was sending me out on a fake date with a cop. I’d lied to get close to Elena Marshall.
I felt like I was losing myself.
And was I willing to do that for Jamie, when he didn’t seem to care that my actions over the next few weeks could mark me forever?
“What do you want, Jane?” I bit out under my breath, my fists squeezing the steering wheel.
I wanted justice.
I wanted to know that the people who had hurt my family weren’t getting to live life like they hadn’t inflicted irreparable damage on others.
I wanted peace for Jamie, and for myself.
But I didn’t want to lose myself to get it, and now I didn’t know how to turn back.
I was frustrated. But it was easier to resent Jamie. That resentment simmered as I drove back to Silver Lake.
27
JAMIE
With exposed ducts and pipes, oversized Edison bulbs as light fixtures, and wood and steel furniture, the Italian restaurant had a casual warehouse vibe. Sitting at the bar centered in a room crowded with tables, I had an eyeline to Jane and Lincoln Gaines.
I hadn’t seen Jane in days. Although she answered my texts, she wouldn’t answer my calls and I was itching to see her. My agent wanted me to sign off on the proof copy of my second manuscript, which provided me with little distraction since Jane was the inspiration for the twisted love story I’d written. Jane was like a hangnail. I could put her to the back of my mind, but the sting remained.
That’s why I’d been watching for her return from the visit to Elena’s support group. I stood in my doorway, waiting as her footsteps echoed up the stairwell. As soon as she turned the corner and came into view, my skin crackled to life.
Despite looking a little drawn, Jane was beautiful, as always, as she caught sight of me and continued upstairs without faltering. She drew to a halt. “I didn’t go in.”
Somehow that didn’t surprise me. And it didn’t bother me. Jane was nothing if not respectful of other people’s pain. “Okay.”
“I did speak to her.”
The idea of Jane anywhere near the dangerous bitch agitated me. But I was the bastard who’d asked her to do it. When she relayed she’d learned nothing from her, I told her it didn’t matter. She’d made contact. It was a start.
Now I was the bastard encouraging her to go on a date with Gaines. If Jane was uncomfortable with it, she’d be gratified to know I was a goddamn mess. The two of them made a striking couple, dressed casually for the relaxed restaurant. They exchanged smiles as they chatted, each one of Jane’s a dagger in my fucking gut.
When Gaines reached over and touched her hand for the fifth time, I almost aimed my table knife in his direction.
The plan was for Jane to not overengage in our agenda this evening. Get to know Gaines. Go in stealthy. Ask only a few questions about his job and his partner, Ethan Wright. This would be a slow game, and one I hadn’t thought through.
There was no way Jane could keep Gaines at bay when it came to sex. At first, sure. But after a few weeks?
Sex? Touching and kissing was bad enough.
On what planet did I ever think I could stand by and let Jane do this? And not just because it was eating me alive with jealousy to see her on a date with another man, but because I was swinging her ass out there. She could get hurt. Never mind physically hurt. Jane hated lying to people. This subterfuge must be twisting her up inside.
“Lincoln’s a nice guy. We shouldn’t do this to him.”
“You can back out anytime.”
“No.”
I thought I could do this. I thought I could use her.
I couldn’t.
I sat there stewing over dinner for two hours as I watched Jane and Gaines through the passing bodies of people who came and went at the bar. Fuck this. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I was about