grandson, he almost said, but he knew that would wound her. Because it’s the right thing to do? Because Gavin would have? No, he wasn’t sure that Gavin would have. Because the boy had nothing and he deserved a chance? Because Karris was there watching and there was something perversely pleasurable about wounding her by doing what was right? “Because I know what it’s like to be alone,” Gavin said. He was surprised that it was the truth.
“You don’t give Karris enough credit,” his mother said.
“What’s she got to do with anything?”
His mother just shook her head. “She didn’t take it well?”
“You might say that,” Gavin said.
“What are you going to do if your father refuses to recognize the boy?”
“He’s not moving me on this, mother. I don’t do very many things that are right. He’s not taking this one away.”
She smiled suddenly. “Did it make your list of seven purposes this time? Defying him?”
“My list only has things that are possible.”
“So it’s harder than stopping the Blood War? Harder than destroying the pirate lords?”
“Twice,” Gavin said. “And yes.”
“You get that from him, you know.”
“What?”
“Your father always made lists, goals to check off. Marry a girl from the right family by twenty-five, join the Spectrum by forty—he made it by thirty-five—and so on. Of course, he never had to organize his life in seven-year blocks.”
“Did he never want to be Prism himself?” Gavin asked.
She didn’t answer right away. “Prisms usually only last seven years.”
Not long enough for my father. I see. “He wanted more sons and daughters, didn’t he?” Even after Sevastian. More tools. More weapons, in case more went bad.
She said nothing. “I want to go home, Gavin. I’ve wanted to join the Freeing for years. I’m so tired.”
For a moment, Gavin couldn’t breathe. His mother was the very quintessence of life. Beauty, energy, cleverness, good nature. To hear her speak as if she were broken down, as if she wanted to quit, was like a blow to the stomach.
“Of course, your father will never allow it,” she said, smiling sadly. “But whether he allows it or not, sometime in these next five years, I’m joining. I’ve buried two sons. I will not bury you.” So she was just giving him warning, giving him time to prepare. Dear Orholam, he didn’t even want to think about it. His mother had been his only companion, his best adviser, the one person who sniffed out threats from leagues away and loved him no matter what.
“So, what were your seven purposes? Accomplished any of them yet?” she asked, bringing the conversation back to safe ground, even though she knew he would dodge.
“I learned to fly. Took me most of the last year.”
She looked at him like she couldn’t tell for once whether he was joking. “That could prove handy,” she said carefully.
Gavin laughed.
“You’re serious,” she said.
“I’ll have to take you for a ride—a flight?—sometime,” Gavin said. “You’ll love it.”
“And you think the idea of that is a good enough distraction to sidetrack me from getting the rest of your goals out of you?”
“Absolutely,” Gavin said, in mock seriousness. “I learned from the best.”
“Very well,” she said. “Now get out of here.” He was halfway out the door when she called. “Gavin!” She called him Gavin now, always, even when her eyes called him Dazen. “Be careful. You know how your father is when someone won’t do what he wills.”
Chapter 50
Kip woke with a dead arm from a dream about his mother holding his head in her lap. It wasn’t a dream; it was half memory. He’d been young. His mother was running her fingers through his hair, her eyes red, swollen. Red eyes usually meant she’d been smoking haze, but this morning she didn’t smell of smoke or alcohol. I’m sorry, she said, I’m so sorry. I’ve quit. It’s going to be different from now on. I promise.
He cracked open one sleep-snot-encrusted eye and moaned. That’s nice, mother, can you just get off my arm? He rolled over. He’d slept on the ground? On a carpet? Oh! As the blood slowly flooded back into his arm, it started hurting. He rubbed it until feeling returned. Where was he? Oh, Liv’s room. It was barely dawn.
Sitting up, Kip saw a woman coming in the room. Maybe the opening door had woken him. Liv must have slept elsewhere. The covers of the bed weren’t even disturbed.
“Good morning, Kip,” the woman said. She was a dark woman, with heavy eyebrows, frizzy hair, and a flamboyant