lethal inferno burning in his expression. His olive skin glimmered in the city lights. His scruffy jaw was clenched with barely contained anger. That handsome asshole.
I didn't move. We'd done this song and dance plenty of times before. "He's not dead," Alessandro whispered threateningly.
I couldn't speak, but I wanted to scream that he was. He had to be. Because the alternative hurt too much. I didn't want to think that the man who swore never to leave me was choosing to be away.
I kept still as my vision blurred, specks of black faded and curled around the edges of his face. My lungs burned. My pulse felt like it was throbbing.
Alessandro let me go, and I sputtered and gasped for air. "Phoenix Bailey is not dead," he repeated. Hearing his name seared through me. It was a familiar sort of pain that made me want to reach for another glass of wine. Fuck Alessandro. Fuck Nix.
It was bad enough that I had to grieve a man I never truly had. I also had to share a ghost with his ex-lover. Alessandro and I were bonded by Phoenix--and he settled like a wedge made of spikes between us.
"You're a mess, Grace Moretti," Alessandro snapped while standing. He kicked at a pillow on the ground before shrugging out of his suit jacket and sitting beside me on the inflatable mattress. My weight shifted, and I slumped over toward him.
"Why did you move in across from me?"
"Why do you watch me out here?" he retorted with a sneer.
"It's not like you bother to close the blinds. And you're fun to watch. Although last week, when you brought out that gigantic butt plug, I felt my asshole pucker."
Alessandro sighed while adjusting the blanket over his legs and lying back. The New York air was chilly and biting. I lay down next to him, our arms brushing as we looked up at the sky. There was too much light pollution to see the stars, but I imagined them up there twinkling and judging me.
I hated how comfortable I was with Alessandro, but I was thankful for it too. "How is school going?" he asked.
"I'm not in the mood for small talk. Don't you have a fuck date to get back to? I was really hoping to watch."
"Shut up, Grace. I'm closing the blinds from now on."
I scoffed. "No you won't. Stop pretending like you didn't know I was out here. Today was just the first time I made a production of it."
"Tell me why," he insisted.
"Tell me why it's been five years and you still follow me."
"You know why."
I licked my lips and sighed. I didn't want to do this. I just wanted to rub one out on the privacy of my balcony and forget all the bullshit. "I think you keep an eye on me for him, but you do it a little bit for me, too."
"I do nothing for you, Grace.”
I sucked in a deep breath, feeling the fire in his damning words bloom in my lungs. Alessandro and I did better when we weren't talking. Every day, his annoyance with me grew and grew. One of these days, he would get tired of protecting the girl Phoenix loved. And I knew that day would destroy me.
My eyes grew heavy as I breathed in the stench of burning pizza from the restaurant below my building. Shouting drunks on the street below lulled me into a deep sleep. I refused to think it was the comfort of Alessandro's presence; I stopped loving unattainable men the day Nix disappeared.
I woke up with the taste of cottoned wine on my tongue and sweat dripping down my back. My satin sheets clung to my skin, and the oscillating fan I usually slept with was turned off.
I wasn't sure how I got here. The last thing I remembered was falling asleep beside Alessandro on my patio, but I guess he left hours ago. Even his scent was gone. I inhaled, expecting that permeating scent of chocolate to fill my nose, but it wasn't there. I wasn't sure how he always smelled like the sugary treat, considering I'd never seen him actually eat it.
I showered quickly and wrapped my body up in a fluffy towel before making my way over to my sliding patio door so I could peer across the street. I wanted to see if Alessandro's threats were true. He hadn't closed his blinds since the day he moved in. I wasn't sure why I was sad