of hot tea while Karin fed the baby and scrolled through her social media feed. I listened to the weather report on my ear buds so I didn’t interfere with the dialogue on the Mickey Mouse show that Lilly occasionally looked up at.
“It’s coming faster than it was. Should make landfall in less than an hour,” I updated them. Looking around you would never know anything was wrong. The gorgeous living room with its local stone and hardwood along with the shuttered windows was clearly built to last. I was so mad at Billy for leaving me there. I loved him like an absolute idiot and now I could lose him already. I was waiting out a deadly storm with his entire extended family while he was in the path of the worst of it. I could barely keep myself from glaring at Elise and Brendan as they snuggled on the couch just because they were together, and I wasn’t with Billy. I loved him. I was mad at him for being hotheaded and telling me what to do. And I was mad at him for leaving me here without him. Mainly I was furious because I could lose him. He could drown trying to save someone or a fire could break out. My hands trembled.
I stood up and went to the kitchen for a soda. Surely some caffeine was a great idea when I was already keyed up. I fumbled for a glass in the cabinet as Connor came in.
“He’s gonna be fine,” he said. “I know that look. You’re nervous as a stray cat. But he’s a SEAL. He’s been through a lot worse shit than this and has still come out on the other side.”
“Thanks,” I said, and bit my lip to keep from saying more.
“And that’s easy to say when I’m here with my family and he’s out there? Yeah, it’s not. Part of me feels guilty not being out there helping with my brothers, but I made a commitment to Brandi. If I wasn’t here with her and Lilly, I wouldn’t be any damn good to them in search and rescue because everything I care about is in that room. I love my brothers, and I love my pub, but that woman in there is the beating heart of me, Morgan. In a time like this, I can’t be apart from her. It’s no use. I lost my edge. I’d be distracted, scared shitless and possibly homicidal to anything that got between us. I’m grateful that Mick and Bill and Tommy can do this. I wish I could do more, but I’m not exaggerating when I say I’d be worthless out there now.”
“He made me come here. He said he’d get us both killed if he was trying to keep me safe and got distracted,” I admitted. “I felt like I was a liability to him, like I was putting him extra danger just by being there.”
“You were. Not on purpose, but love is always a liability because it skews your focus. Don’t feel bad. It may be a liability to me that I need Brandi so much, but she’s also the reason I’m alive. The only reason any of this shit is worth anything to me. He’ll be okay. Just try to relax.”
“Thanks,” I said. It was nice of Connor, the big grumpy one, to open up like that and try to comfort me. It was very big brother-ish and I appreciated it in an objective sense. It just didn’t reassure me all that much. I headed back into the living room and sat down with Karin.
“How’re you doing without Mickey here?” I asked.
“It sucks. I wanted to kick his ass for insisting we stay here. I get it, but it still pisses me off,” she said. “You?”
“Same,” I sighed.
“So, here’s a video of some drunk guy trying to do a round-off and falling on his ass. On a slip and slide,” she said and handed me her phone. I guffawed. It was a good welcome distraction. Brandi came over to see and then showed us a video on her Insta feed of some cats trying to cross a pond. We watched a few more funny videos and then I stood up.
“Who wants margaritas?” I asked.
“I’m in!” Elise said and so did Brandi.
Brandi went into the kitchen with me and we got the stuff out.
“If we put a splash of elderberry in with the mango puree, it’s good for your immunity so I call