afterwards, when he sweeps me up in his arms and carries me downstairs, I sink against his chest. I lean my head on his shoulder and listen to the comforting thump thump thump of his heart by my ear.
Why can’t things always be simple like this? I close my eyes and luxuriate in the feeling of his strong, protective arms around me. I miss the pretending. I miss the illusion that he could love me more than anything else and the idea that he would fight anything, even his lesser nature, because of that love.
But maybe that was always a fairytale. And maybe I should learn how to be happy with what I have, because even if it’s not perfect, it’s still pretty damn amazing. I’m not perfect. Why should I expect him to be?
I nuzzle my face in that spot I love between his neck and shoulder and inhale. I’m just so mixed up about everything. I don’t know which emotions to trust anymore. I wish there was someone to talk to about all this, someone who could help me see clearly and make sense of things—
But just then, I feel a whoosh and then the breeze on my face as Logan opens a door.
I pull my face out of his neck and look up right as a group of people start cheering and whistling.
What the hell—?
I can’t look enough places at once. The backyard has been transformed. There are lines of chairs and all of them are filled with people. Glittering, beautiful people, dressed to the nines. It’s like a redo of the garden party, everyone who is anyone is here, including the Ubelis and a grinning Armand, and there’s an— There’s an—
An AISLE down the center of the chairs, covered in rose petals, and at the front—
I swing my head up to Logan, who’s still holding me in his freaking arms like I’m a damsel in distress, my hair still damp from my bath earlier—
But he’s grinning as wide as anyone I’ve ever seen.
“Surprise, gorgeous. Welcome to your wedding.”
Nine
Daphne
“Take. Me. Back. Inside,” I hiss up at Logan, turning my head to look away from everyone gathered in front of the garden.
Was I not sick enough? Now he’s trying to make me die of humiliation?
Logan, smart man that he is, promptly turns around and carries me back inside. I don’t take a full breath until I hear the door close behind us, but not before I register the chatter start up in the garden beyond.
I would so kill Logan right now if I had the energy.
“Put me down.” It’s taking everything I have in me not to lose my shit on him. What was he thinki—?
He lays me tenderly on the couch and watches me with an unreadable expression. But he certainly doesn’t look contrite.
Does he actually think this is okay?
“You can’t just order me to marry you!” I toss my hands up. After all this time, does he still not get it? “You’re my master in the bedroom, not my life.”
But all he says is, “You don’t want to marry me?” He watches me with seductive, dangerous eyes.
A pain twists my guts. I look away. That’s not fair. I don’t know what else to say but, “Not like this.”
He nods and turns away, walking to a window that looks out on the back garden. “You told me this was what you always wanted.”
I can feel my face scrunch in confusion.
He waves to the window and the labyrinth garden beyond. “A wedding like your mother’s. A garden. All your friends.” Then he comes over and crouches in front of me. “And I promised to make all your dreams come true.”
He’s trying to be sweet but he’s only making it worse.
He didn’t say anything about love.
This is just another way he’s trying to take care of me. It’s like that Cancer Wish foundation for little kids, except for grown-ups. He thinks this is what I always wanted, so he’s trying to give it to me before I… Before I…
I can’t help the little cry of anguish at the thought of the pity wedding everyone’s thrown together for me.
And I’m sorry, but no matter how much I love them all, I can’t go through with the farce. I can’t be the good little bride like my mother was.
I can’t pretend that someday Logan’s devotion won’t turn sour. Those flowers out back will wilt, and all that’s beautiful about our love will turn ugly and destructive.
“No.”
I look up in confusion at