A lump forms in my throat. For someone so shy, Stella sure has some wild sexual fantasies. It's turning me on.
And there's more.
He'll pin my hands above my head and demand my surrender with his mouth, claiming my lips and worshiping my breasts. With his fingers, he will make me melt, pressing the secret button that transforms my excitement into ecstasy.
That's the last line of her most recent entry, which is a good thing because I don't think I could read any more. In spite of the air conditioning in the room, I'm sweating. And I'm hard.
If I hadn't wanted Stella so badly already, I would now. I have an urge to go to her apartment and teach her what sex is all about. All weekend.
But my conscience won't shut up. It's like an alarm blaring through my head, telling me over and over that I'm Stella's boss and I should act like it, reminding me of all the things that could go wrong if I let my dick make my decisions for me.
No. The answer is still no.
I close the journal and put it back where I found it, hiding it well so no one else will. I almost wish I hadn't read it. I'd be in less pain now. Then again, if I hadn't read Stella's journal, I would still be clueless about her.
I'm glad I know more about her now. I swear I'm going to treat her better.
But first, I have to distract myself with work to make my "not so little problem" go away. Then I'm going to have those midnight drinks with my brothers and get drunk.
~
"Another," I tell the bartender after setting down my empty glass of Scotch for the fourth time. He refills it from the bottle within seconds.
"Same here," Ryker says, pointing to his empty glass of gin tonic.
"Looks like the two of you are having it rough," Asher remarks as he takes a sip of his martini. "It's that Swiss acquisition, isn't it?"
"The question is: Why don't you seem as anxious?" Ryker asks him. "Or have you forgotten that if this acquisition doesn't push through, it will be bad for the whole company?"
"I know, but it will still be worse for the two of you," Asher says.
Ryker frowns.
"Maybe we should just leave him here when we go to Switzerland," I say. "What do you think, Ryker?"
"Hey!" Asher complains. "No fair. I've already made plans for Switzerland."
Ryker raises an eyebrow. "Plans?"
"I've heard Swiss women are gorgeous."
Ryker rolls his eyes. I know what he's thinking - that some things never change.
"We are going to Switzerland for work, you know," I remind Asher. "Do I have to tell you that you have to be on your best behavior?"
"Oh, I'm always on my best behavior around women," he answers.
I give him a stern look. "Asher."
"Oh, don't get your panties in a twist." He waves his hand. "I won't do anything that will tarnish our beloved company or mess with our business in Switzerland."
I wish I could believe that, but it's hard to when he's already been embroiled in a scandal once before.
Asher puts up his hand. "I promise."
Well, he looks sincere enough.
"I'll hold you to that promise," I tell him.
He sighs. "You're such a party pooper, you know that? I know you're CEO and whatnot, but you don't have to be so serious all the time. You're rubbing off on Ryker. Or he's rubbing off on you, I can't figure out which."
"Hey!" Ryker takes offense. "I know how to have fun."
"And I don't?" I ask them both with a little more irritation than I intended.
Ryker doesn't answer. Asher tries not to laugh but ends up doing it anyway.
"I know how to have fun, too," I say defensively.
"Tell me, then," Asher says. "What have you been doing on weekends?"
"Drinking with you two," I answer. "By the way, it's your turn to pay for drinks tonight."
"I'm already aware of that, and I've already anticipated that the two of you are going to drink more than usual as a result, and I've already calculated the cost."
Of course he has.
"Anyway, this routine doesn't count. What else do you do on weekends?"
"Bike, hike or go surfing somewhere," Ryker answers, even though Asher wasn't asking him. I guess he wants to prove that he does know how to have fun.
"Sleep," I give my answer. "But that doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun. I've just been busy."