it a few times and he always felt like a huge asshole afterwards.
I wonder if Lydia will get here soon…
He felt even more like an asshole, already thinking about another girl while he waited to break up with Michelle. Yet he couldn’t think of the last time he’d been more excited to see anyone as he was to see Lydia. Besides which, it wasn’t as if he was breaking up with Michelle because of Lyda. Nothing romantic was ever going to happen with Lydia, that much had been made clear a long time ago. But she was his oldest friend.
“Eric?” Michelle’s voice rang like a bell. Eric looked up and sighed wistfully. If anyone looked like the perfect woman, it was her. She was wearing a faux fur snow hat that softened her pale skin and rosy cheeks and a cashmere sweater set that hugged her curves. She looked like any man’s fantasy of a sexy snow bunny and Eric cleared his throat.
“Hey, Michelle,” Eric said, standing for a moment. He unbuttoned his jacket and buttoned it right up again, not sure what to do with his hands. Michelle frowned, questioning, and leaned over to peck him on the lips.
It helped that the kiss made him feel nothing. There was nothing real here to salvage.
“You drinking your lunch?” Michelle said, nodding at his bourbon as she took a seat and removed her fur hat.
“I just needed something to take the edge off,” Eric said. He loosened his tie and saw that Michelle’s gaze followed his every movement. She squinted. She always seemed especially observant. He’d like that about her. But his stomach twisted. He had to get this over with before she figured it out first and got upset. “There’s something I need to talk to you about,” he said slowly.
Michelle’s eyes narrowed. There was a hard look to them. Sometimes he thought it was a little cold. Her light blue eyes seemed icy and flat. But he figured he’d only thought that because he’d decided he wasn’t in love with her.
“I hate this shit,” he muttered. “It’s awful. So I want to get it over with. I don’t think this is working out. I’m really sorry about it. I just don’t… I don’t feel…”
“You’re breaking up with me?” Michelle didn’t sound upset. In fact, her voice was oddly monotone as she narrowed her eyes. “Eric. That’s...disappointing.”
A shiver ran up Eric’s spine. There was something about the way she said it. It was just off somehow.
“I really thought we had something special here,” Michelle said. “Haven’t we had fun-”
“Yeah!” Eric nodded. “Definitely. I wanted to give it some time, you know? And we did have fun but I just don’t think we… I don’t feel that thing.”
“What thing?” Michelle said sharply.
“Whatever it is you’re supposed to feel,” Eric said simply.
“I think you’re making a mistake,” Michelle said. She smiled at him and Eric cringed. That was probably a bad response to a smile. But it made him feel better about the break-up. “I think we should give this a little more time-”
“I’m really sorry if it’s upsetting,” Eric said slowly. She didn’t seem upset per se. Or if she was, he couldn’t see it. It felt more like a business transaction and that was somehow even creepier. “But I know it’s the right thing to do. I know how I feel. Or rather, how I don’t feel. I wouldn’t want to lead you on when I’m already sure.”
“I see,” Michelle said. She blinked at him and pursed her lips, regarding him coolly. “It’s alright. I’ll make you see reason. I can be very persuasive.” She tossed him a playful wink, but it only made his stomach twist. “You’ll thank me when I’m done.”
That didn’t sound good. Eric winced and scratched his head. “Michelle… Don’t try to salvage this. It’s really-”
“Don’t worry.” She stood up from her chair. There was not one hair out of place. She hadn’t even had a chance to eat lunch. He felt a little guilty about that. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m just going to give you some time to think and we’ll talk again.”
Damnit.
“Michelle…”
“Goodbye, Eric. For now.”
I am in such deep shit, Eric thought.
14
Lydia
When Lydia closed her eyes, she saw Eric.
Except she hadn’t truly seen Eric in about five years. In her mind, he was still a teenager. Her first love and her best friend. Usually when she pictured him, he was always in his bear form, running through the woods in spring, his eyes