off like a pesky insect, before turning to walk away—a degrading gesture that sets a sudden end to my mute stupor.
“I’m sorry!” I cry out, desperation pervading my words a little too much.
Gabe freezes immediately, but remains with his back turned to me.
“I just… I didn’t know, okay?”
“Didn’t know what?” he probes, still not looking at me. “Didn’t know I would be there?”
I think there’s an inkling of hope in his last question, and for a moment, I feel tempted to feed that hope. I could tell him that I lied before, that I was just as surprised to see him as he was to see me and that all of this was thrown at me without a single warning.
It wouldn’t be true, but it would shine a different light on all of this. It would make me look less like an idiot.
I want to lie, but I can’t. He wouldn’t buy it, anyway.
I deflate under a heavy sigh.
“No, I knew you’d be here, and I dealt with it in the most horrible way,” I admit. “I’m sorry for that, I… I just didn’t know what to do—or say.”
He turns around as I speak, a deep furrow between his eyebrows. Even with that deep disdain running across his face, he looks so fucking immaculate and handsome that I can feel the heat rush to my cheeks once again. He shouldn’t have that effect on me, not after all those years, not after the way we parted ways. God, I hate this so much!
Why did I have to call him back? I should have just let him run away and be done with it! His mere presence is making my heart race with furious speed and I can barely think straight. Why does he have to look so ridiculously good? Why can’t I be more chill around him? It’s been years, and after all, I was the one who…
“Didn’t know what to do, huh,” Gabe remarks, cutting into my thoughts like a sharp blade. “Is this why you ran away like that? Where have I seen that before?”
He snorts with disgust and shakes his head. “You’re pathetic, Ella.”
“I’m pathetic?!” I retort, with a voice so shrill that it hurts my own ears. "Fuck you, Gabe! Seriously, just fuck off!”
“You’re telling me to fuck off?!” he yells at me, stepping closer while pointing a finger at me. “I never asked you to come here! And you were the one who—”
“Well, you ran after me, didn’t you?” I interrupt him. “If I’m so pathetic, why did you come running after me? That’s a new move! Since when do you even care?”
He stares at me with such a horror that I almost feel sorry for what I just said. Almost. I know it was wrong, unfair even. If anything, it makes me sound like a stupid diva who loves to play hard-to-get and expects men to chase after her.
But back then I didn’t leave because I wanted to make him chase me.
Hell, we weren’t even a real couple. He was the one who insisted on that!
“Bitch,” he hisses at me, moving even closer. I instinctively step back as he closes in on me.
“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but I want no part of it. Not again,” Gabe says, now standing so close to me that I can feel the warmth of his body.
And his smell. Is he still using the same cologne? Am I imagining things or does he smell just as intoxicating as he did back then? Fresh, with a hint of citrus and sea salt. I loved that cologne on him. It’s subtle, but noticeable—and it blends so well with his natural scent without overpowering it.
“I’m not playing any games and I never have,” I snap at him. “You were the one who didn’t want to commit! You never gave me a reason to stay!”
“A reason to stay?” he repeats, hurt lacing his expression. “You needed me to give you a reason to stay? What the everlasting fuck, Ella! As if anything I could have done or said would have changed anything! You wanted to leave, so you did. Don’t try to make me the bad guy here.”
“Oh, so I am the bad guy?” I come back at him. “You’re blaming me for what happened?”
“What happened is that you left!” he argues, speaking with such force that his whole body is shaking. “You could have stayed! You could have gotten your Master’s degree right here at the East