eyes begin to water nonetheless, unimpressed by my ongoing attempts to stop the waterfall.
“I understand,” I manage to say. “Will that be all?”
I need to get out of this room. The tears are coming, whether I want it or not. But I’d rather die than wail in front of the only boss I ever respected. A boss who used to respect me, too.
Mrs. Glenn raises an eyebrow at me. “You don’t want to hear what they thought of our proposal?”
I hadn’t even thought about that. I was so occupied with dwelling in self-pity and furious agony that I didn’t even think about the government’s feedback to our proposal.
“Oh, yes, of course I do!” I tell Mrs. Glenn, raising my voice as high as possible. It’s hard to feign excitement for anything right now, but I can’t let her know how defeated I feel. “Did they approve it?”
“No, they didn’t,” she answers brusquely.
My heart sinks. Despite my embarrassing performance, I still expected to hear better news in regard to our draft. We worked so hard on it, and I’m not the only one who was confident that this proposal was the perfect blend of economic practicability and ecological idealism.
I don’t try to hide the disappointment in my voice. “They didn’t like it at all?”
“Well, that’s not exactly it. They did like it,” Mrs. Glenn replies. “The counsel probably would have approved it, if it wasn’t for the attorney advisor and his withering remarks.”
“The attorney advisor… Mr. Boulder?” I blurt out.
That’s Gabe. He’s the one stopping the proposal? Why would he do that? To get back at me? Really?
Mrs. Glenn’s eyebrows arch in surprise.
“Yeah, I think that was his name,” she says, now leaning forward and placing her elbows on the table between us. “Do you know him?”
I stutter a hazy response: “I… um, maybe.”
“Maybe?” she probes. “You either know him or you don’t.”
“Well, yes, I used to know him, but—”
“Do you think you could talk to him?” Mrs. Glenn cuts me off while she begins to go through a pile of papers and folders on her desk. She separates a few sheets from the rest of the stack and hands them over to me.
“This is the list of comments they sent me,” she says, as I take the papers from her. “Most of them are directly from that attorney, Mr. Boulder. Pretty nitpicky, if you ask me. It looks like he simply wants to refuse this plan, without rhyme or reason.”
I can’t suppress a condescending huff in return, and when I start scanning over the comments Gabe left on our proposal, I have to agree with her assessment.
“Typical,” I hiss, shaking my head as I read one ludicrous holdup after another. “We shouldn’t give up on this. Most of these points don’t hold water. He’s just being pedantic.”
“I agree,” Mrs. Glenn says. “And if you could talk some sense into him, well…”
I look up, meeting her eyes as she seems to contemplate the rest of her sentence.
“Let’s just say, if you could change his mind, I would be willing to reconsider my earlier assessment, regarding your future with us,” she adds ominously.
My eyes widen. “You mean…”
“It would show that you do have the determination this field of work requires,” Mrs. Glenn clarifies. “And the sly energy we need to get things done.”
She adds a slightly disconcerting wink to her last statement.
“So, if I talk to him, you might be willing to give me another chance?” I ask. “I’d still have a shot at a full-time position here?”
“Not if you talk to him; if you get him to approve us,” she clarifies. “And yes, that would definitely put you back in the running.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now. Is this some twisted play of fate? My future at this institute, my hope for a career in environmental policy-making now depends on my ability to convince Gabriel Boulder to come on board with our proposal?
Fuck me.
So much for never seeing him again.
The thought makes my stomach turn in a new way—but I can’t let this chance pass, no matter what.
“I’ll do it,” I promise, determination lacing my words. “I’ll talk to him, and I’ll bring him over on our side.”
Fuck it. I can be strong and professional. She’ll see!
And so will Gabe.
Chapter 8
Ella
The evening ride is becoming more and more unpleasant, especially for my naked hands, clawed around the handlebar with no protection against the icy airstream as I bike through the city on my way home. I need to buy