Lyra ever did. “She told me straight out that she’d lied about birth control with Haven for that purpose.”
“She trapped you?”
“Essentially, yes.” I reach for my glass of whiskey and knock it back, but it does nothing to quell the tension inside me. “Joke’s on her, though, because I was dealt the best hand. I can always make more money, but the kids are irreplaceable.”
Bella is silent for a long while. So long that when I look down at her, I’m shocked to see that her eyes are glittering, sparkling with unshed tears.
“Bella?”
“I’m sorry. I know it’s… wow. You’re strong, Ethan. And kind. And a far better person than I am, for being able to be civil to her today. I want to slap her now.”
It takes me a moment to absorb the impact of her words. It’s been an age since I’ve felt anything but a fool over my blindness in that marriage. Someone who’d easily been played. I’d walked straight into her trap.
Seeing Lyra and Bella together had made it all so clear. Bella values her studies and her future, baking and hiking, children and animals—at least the cat she’s taking care of.
And her face is an open book.
“Bella,” I say. “You’ve seen the truth. I’m a dad who either spends too little time with his kids or too little time at his job. I promised to read your thesis and I haven’t even managed to follow up on that. I have no idea what I can realistically offer you in terms of the future… but I want to try.”
Bella cups my face between her palms, the skin soft against the stubble on my cheeks. Her eyes are wide. “To try?”
“Yes, to try and date you properly. To be an us, whatever that means. We’ll figure out the details along the way.”
I haven’t been nervous in a long time. But I’m nervous now, watching her beautiful hazel eyes, the unlined skin of her face, the kindness in her smile. She’s so young, and so smart, and so gorgeously unattached. She could be with anyone. Anyone at all that isn’t me, with a truckload of baggage and two kids.
“I want to try too,” she murmurs, and the smile that breaks across her face… it takes my breath away.
I catch her lips with mine. She laughs as I bend her back, as she stretches out on the loveseat and wraps her arms around me. I can’t remember the last time I felt as hopeful about the future as I do now, so I grip her tight, as if I can keep both her and the feeling close by arms alone.
16
Bella
I rearrange my bangs in front of the hallway mirror for the fiftieth time, my hair long down my back—and thank God for that, because for some reason I’ve gone with a backless dress.
One I’d bought years ago on sale, and later realized was not only unpractical but basically useless. Not only was it risky, as it was just fastened with a tie around my neck, but it was light blue. When did I go to events that called for dresses like these?
Tonight, apparently.
I take a deep breath and push an offending tendril of hair to the side. Ethan and I are going to a party—and we’re doing it together. “Easy peasy,” I tell my own reflection. “He likes you, you like him… nothing could be simpler.”
The bell to the gate rings and I grab my purse in one hand, bending to say goodbye to Toast. My hand disappears in the cat’s thick gray fur.
“Wish me luck?”
He butts his head against my hand and lets out a small, warm purr. I scratch behind his ear. “What’s this?” I ask. “Are we becoming friends?”
Toast winds around my leg before disappearing down the hallway, probably offended by the mere suggestion. “Don’t worry!” I call after him. “I won’t tell anyone!”
Then I lock the door behind me and head down to meet Ethan. He has his back to me, his navy trousers expertly fitted, contrasting with the blue shirt that stretches taut over his shoulders.
I pause with my hand on the gate. “Sorry,” I say, “but I’m looking for my neighbor? Single dad, usually wearing shorts?”
Ethan’s smile is wide and carefree, the one that always manages to take my breath away. Will I ever gain immunity? I doubt it. “You’ve only seen me at my worst, haven’t you?” he asks.
“If that’s been your worst, I’m not sure I’m ready for you at your best.”
His