in the darkness, begin my search, checking each door.
Bingo—he’s in Cole’s study.
Standing on the balcony with his back to me, a glass of brandy dangling from his fingers, Nick doesn’t turn when I enter.
My heart is beating fast. For a wild second, I feel like I’m approaching a cornered animal. An absurd image of me holding out my hands, palms up, and saying calm, boy flits through my mind.
I clear my throat, but Nick speaks first. “I wondered if you’d come searching for me.”
From the scathing tone, it’s clear that’s not a good thing. I swallow again. “Bryce wasn’t invited. Cole doesn’t know how he got in.”
“I pity the security he hired, then.” There’s dark humor in Nick’s tone at the thought, but when he speaks again, it’s gone. “So? Have you come to tell me you agree with everything Bryce said?”
“No,” I say. “No, not at all.”
He turns around, dark eyes in the dimly lit room. “He only said what you’ve been thinking about all along, especially in regard to the layoffs.”
“He was spiteful and bitter. He wasn’t speaking truthfully at all.”
Nick rolls his eyes. “He was bitter, yes. And truthful. Come now, surely he said nothing you haven’t already thought yourself.”
His black mood gives rise to my own. Whatever he’s goading me to say, I won’t give it to him. “I made sure he left as quickly as possible. Cole is down there now, trying to stop gossip.”
“Too late for that,” he says. “This will only add to my reputation. Good for business, that.”
I cross my arms across my chest. “I don’t believe it.”
“Believe what?”
“This act. You put it on all the time—just like the other day. Why?”
“Oh, Blair,” he says, but it’s not in a nice way. It’s in a you-know-so-little way. “Why did you help me deal with Bryce?”
“What, is it so hard to believe I just wanted to?”
“You’re helpful, yes, but that’s not why you did it.” He takes a step closer, a muscle working in his jaw. Almost absently, he puts down his brandy on Cole’s desk. “Explain yourself.”
“Is it impossible to believe that I disagreed with Bryce, that I’m actually starting to see merit in your work?”
He dismisses my words like they’re obvious untruths. “It’s your brother’s party. Of course you don’t want a scene. You’d do anything for him and Skye.”
His words fan the flames of my irritation and they lick my insides with fire. “Why are you so determined to think everyone hates you? So intent on driving them away, to live up to the very worst of your reputation? To push and push until people give up?”
The fiery look on his features is new to me. There’s nothing impassive about it, nothing cold or controlled. He steps closer. “Why do you keep trying with me? You give me chance after chance after chance, always hoping I’ll redeem myself.”
I throw my hands up. “I wish I knew!” I say. “But don’t worry, I get it now. You don’t want anyone to care about you except Cole, so you just push them away. Well, forgive me, because I did. I overstepped your arbitrary boundaries by actually giving—”
And then my words die on my lips because he’s kissing them. The surprise lasts only a second under his warmth, and then I’m kissing him too, our lips moving together.
It’s not a perfect kiss at first. It’s rough and surprised and we don’t quite fit and then we just do, like a key finally turning in a lock. His hands come around my waist as he tugs my body tightly against his. My lips open and he takes advantage of that and I’m not thinking any more, not at all.
I’m drowning in sensation. He’s everywhere, from thigh to chest, rock solid and big and so much more than I’d imagined. There’s no way to come back unscathed from this kiss. There will be a Blair before kissing Nick and a Blair after kissing Nick, altered forever by this experience.
I wrap my arms tightly around his neck. My nails rake gently through his dark hair and he groans, low in his throat. His hands flatten against my low back.
His tongue sweeps across my lower lip. Perhaps it’s the brandy, or just him, but it sets fire to my mouth. I kiss him fiercely to stop the burn.
It only makes it grow hotter.
Somewhere far away, in some distant awareness, I register that Nick is moving us. That I’m stepping backwards, but I’m holding on to him and