been satisfied with your life for a while now.”
“Or ever,” I mutter. “They asked me if I’d ever felt different. But doesn’t everyone feel different?”
Kesha purses her lips. “Oh yeah.”
“I suppose,” Hannah agrees. “How do you feel different, Romy?”
I think about that. “Well, I always wanted to do things that my mom didn’t want me to. Musical theater. Art classes. She let me do musical theater for a few years, but she hated it. She didn’t want to come see my shows. She told me art classes were a waste of time.” I pause, remembering more. “Sometimes… weird things happened.”
My friends have gone quiet, their expressions intent. “Like what?” Kesha asks.
“When I was in high school, Sophia Carmichael teased me about my flat chest. She was the mean girl,” I explain. “And she had huge hooters. I was upset and mortified, and that night I… Oh God, I’m ashamed of this, but I wished something bad would happen to her. And the next day she failed our biology test.”
They repress smiles.
“Karma,” Kesha says.
“Or maybe not.” Hannah arches a brow.
“I had a part-time job at Dean’s Diner. There was a homeless man who sometimes hung out near the diner. I always felt bad for him. I didn’t have much money to give him, but sometimes I’d take him a sandwich. I wished there was more I could do for him. And then one day someone gave him a winning lottery ticket.”
“Holy shit.” Kesha’s eyes widen.
I’m remembering more. “I told my mom not to park her car on the street one night. She thought I was being silly and dramatic. I was so upset, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, so I snuck out of the house and moved the car. The next morning a tree had fallen right where the car had been parked.”
Their eyes are huge.
“That freaked my mom out,” I continue. “She wouldn’t even talk about it. And if I ever tried to tell her something because I ‘had a feeling,’ she told me not to be ridiculous. She told me I needed to make decisions based on reason and logic.” I pause. “So I stopped telling her about my feelings. Like I stopped pointing out how the tree branches against the night sky looked like lace. Or how I thought little leprechauns lived under the mushrooms growing in the backyard. I was so weird.”
I give my friends an apprehensive look. I’ve never told them these things either.
To my surprise, sympathy and sadness fill their eyes.
“Oh, Romy. That’s not weird.”
“That’s lovely, and I’m sad your mom didn’t appreciate those things about you,” Hannah says softly.
My throat thickens. “She just wanted the best for me. She thought it was important to be practical and rational.”
“Maybe… you’ll fit in better with your father’s family,” Hannah says. “Maybe they’ll want to hear about the leprechauns.”
I blink quickly as moisture gathers in my eyes. “It’s ridiculous,” I whisper.
Hannah moves to sit beside me and slides her arm around my shoulders, squeezing. “Yeah. It kind of is.”
Kesha sighs. “Whatever you want to do, we’re here for you. We’ve got your back. Even if your family tries to turn you into a potato.”
I choke on a laugh and wipe my eyes with my fingertips. “Thank you. I love you.”
9
Romy
Bad decisions make for great adventures.
That was not my mother’s favorite saying.
It’s not my favorite saying either, but Hannah said it as she left my place the other night. Since then, I’ve been going over things in my mind. I don’t like making bad decisions. My mother drummed that into my head my whole life, and it’s hard to disregard that. Using logic and data and weighing pros and cons is comfortable. Relying on my instincts or intuition or whatever you want to call it scares the crap out of me.
Do you have the courage…?
I keep hearing Trace’s sexy, husky voice in my ear.
I want to be courageous.
I’ve been doing my job mindlessly all week, so preoccupied with other things. The sad thing is… I can do it mindlessly. When I go into a work meeting and sit and listen to people asking stupid questions and Cliff going on and on without even really saying anything, and then I go back to my cubicle to work on the same old tasks, I want to scream at the monotony of it.
The only thing that saves me is my design work. I have a few jobs to work on in the evenings and