Between You & Me - By Marisa Calin Page 0,34
Saturday and we made a plan. I don’t know what happened, I just haven’t thought of it since. We stare at each other.
ME
I can be ready in two minutes, I swear.
After another second, I realize why you might still be staring. When you used to spend the night when we were young, I was always in pink cotton pj’s. Now, in my sexier days, my new satin slip probably comes as a surprise. It wouldn’t have been my choice for company, even yours, and I check that you can’t see more than you bargained for as you find your voice.
YOU
Two minutes?
It sounds like a challenge, with an edge that says I might have remembered if it had been more important to me. I see now how nicely dressed you are, with what looks like a picnic tucked under your arm. My toast pops. I turn and run up the stairs, wondering how high my slip rides up from your angle and, as if on cue, you call some quip about Gabe. When I’m tugging my slip off over my head in my bedroom I’m still thinking that Gabe was far from on my mind when I bought it.
So it took at least three minutes for me to find something to wear but when I reappear in jeans and a V-neck, you seem happy enough, sitting at the kitchen table and eating my toast.
You let me finish my tea before you stand up again.
YOU
Ready?
ME
Right behind you!
THE STREET. SECONDS LATER.
The autumn sun is not yet overhead but it looks like you have something of a day planned. You’re talking about taking a picnic up the hill this afternoon—to the highest point around. We used to sit there for hours when we were younger, lying on our backs on the grass on summer nights and looking at the sky. I’m only in a light jacket but it’s warm enough for the day, and I wrapped a silk scarf around my neck on the way out the door. It makes me feel grown-up—it’s just like one of Mia’s. You seem intense today. Something’s on your mind. Watching you from the corner of my eye, I get the impression that somehow this day started out more important to you than it did to me.
ME
You all right?
You give me a friendly nod, so I leave it at that.
We pass school on the way to the road up the hill and I skip ahead to the gate, feeling suddenly adventurous. I turn to see if you’re feeling it too.
ME
Let’s climb the gate like we used to.
Before we were in high school, we would climb over the gate during the summer to play football on the playing fields. We enacted whole sports events, and on this breezy Saturday for old times’ sake appeals. Plus, being at school makes me feel close to Mia. Most people break out of school, not in, but I feel like peeking at the past from a complex present.
You look less enthused. I wrap my hands around the bars of the gate.
ME
Come on, we’ve done it before.
You shake your head, crushing my sense of adventure.
YOU
We shouldn’t. We’ll get in trouble.
Really?! Trouble!
And we kind of had a plan.
ME
A plan!
—I imitate, not completely unkindly, craving some spontaneity, and I reach for your hand but you ignore it.
YOU
First you forget—
I let my hand drop.
ME
I said I was sorry about that.
YOU
—And now you’re acting like we don’t already have something to do.
My urge to climb the gate and clear my head by tearing across the grass like we used to is a strong one, and I reach for you one more time but now you really pull back.
ME
You are so cautious, damn it. Just live a little!
I know right away I went too far. You’re walking off. And for some reason, today, as if I haven’t said enough, I keep talking.
ME
Look! If I’m pissing you off, at least stay and tell me so.
You spin around and I realize you’re even angrier than I thought.
YOU
No, Phyre. Because then I might say something hurtful. Like you always do.
Stupefied pause. Like I always do. I stand uselessly, watching you walk away. This entire interlude has caught me off guard. I’m not even sure what I was pushing for, and now my heart feels heavy with guilt as you turn out of sight with your carefully packed picnic. How did this go so wrong so fast? I messed up today before it even started. We’ve never had a fight before this year,