Between You & Me - By Marisa Calin Page 0,13

in my ear:

YOU

Someone’s coming!

And I propel myself through the window, practically clearing the sides, like I was sitting on a rocket launcher. I make very little noise hitting the floor, all things considered, and when you don’t appear for a second, I peer carefully through the window. You are doubled over. Laughing. It’s my turn to raise eyebrows. And bare teeth.

YOU

Adrenaline. I knew it would be the fastest way to get you through the window.

ME

Very funny!

I’m considering closing and locking the window when I think of everything you’re already done for me today, and I try a big-girl response: saying nothing.

When you’ve finally stopped laughing I help you through the window and only hit you once before perfecting my “There I was, reading” expression as we step casually around the door. The teacher on duty isn’t even here yet, so I swallow my sweep of guilt as we join everyone else and try not to point out that you got detention for nothing.

THEATER. TUESDAY LUNCH. THE NEXT WEEK.

Today is Mia’s first scene-study class—and your detention, which we haven’t spent a lot of time discussing. The best I could do was a grateful hug as we went our separate ways, but my mind was already here. I push through the theater doors. There’s Mia, alone, sitting in the front row. She has her hand on her forehead, hiding her face. She straightens up when she hears me, and smiles. It may be my imagination but she seems sad, her eyes glassy. Here’s my chance, to be a cheering presence, a reason for her happiness. I head down the aisle toward her. Behind me, the doors swing open again and Kate appears, followed closely by Elle and Cara, then more people, everyone talking. Mia is up and cheerful, too enthusiastic, overcompensating, and the moment is lost.

We sit on stage in a circle as Mia talks about the play. She’s doing her best, holding together, but when she’s not talking, her animation falters, and she’s lost in thought. She only comes back when she speaks again. Streamlined and studious, dressed in black today, she turns an apple over in her hands, apologizing that she didn’t have lunch yet. She bites into it thoughtfully as she asks us what the objectives are for the characters in the play. Seeing her eat feels intimate, personal, and I forget to listen for a minute, watching the ripple of her jaw, the way her chewing pauses when she listens.

When the bell rings for the end of lunch, the rest of the class starts arriving, cutting short this newfound time with Mia. We’re stacking the chairs away as I catch sight of you coming through the door. Mia has asked us to make a circle on stage and I signal for you to stand beside me.

ME

How was it?

YOU

Best fun ever.

ME

I knew it! I missed out.

You nod with a consolatory grin.

YOU

Next time!

Mia has stepped down from the stage to consult her planner so I whisk my head around to face you again.

ME

Have you noticed Mia seems down today? She isn’t herself. Can you tell?

She’s already on the steps, barely giving you time to shrug, and she dives in as soon as she joins the circle.

MIA

Emotion memory.

Hands go up.

BELLA

Evoking personal memories of similar situations to the one your character is in.

MIA

Exactly! Even if we haven’t gone through the same thing, we can use something we’ve experienced to relate to the character. That way you can really explore what’s true for you. Imagine how you would react.

She adjusts her collar. In some lights her black top is almost indigo.

Can someone give me an emotion?

EVA

Excitement!

MIA

Good. Excitement. Think about the most excited you’ve ever been. How did it feel?

Eyes to the floor, I focus on her voice.

MIA

Feel the butterflies in the pit of your stomach, the way they well up and make your throat feel like it will burst. You want to jump up and down, hug someone, pleasure pressing from your chest to the tips of your fingers.

I look across the circle to see if her own thoughts are playing across her face.

You’ll each step forward, remembering that specific time, and react with the greatest intensity of excitement that you’ve ever felt. We’ll go around the circle and every ten seconds the next person will also step in. The excitement should build until you’ve all stepped forward together. Then one by one you’ll step out.

I try to conjure up the feeling I get when the lights go down at a movie or