Between the Lives - By Jessica Shirvington Page 0,92
what Dex did was excusable or not, so I told them how I’d planned the night, how I’d made him wait and promised him that we would be together. I told them how he’d always respected me previously, but that he’d also become increasingly possessive. I confessed that up until the moment I said no I hadn’t exactly been waving a red flag – but that once I did, he grabbed the Champagne and disappeared. Until he came back. I told them I thought he would’ve killed me.
They took notes, nodding as I spoke.
I half expected them to say I got what I deserved. I half wondered it myself. But when they stood up, it was the man who put out his hand to shake mine. ‘Thank you for your honesty. I’m sorry for what happened. No matter what led up to it, there is never, ever any excuse to justify what he did to you.’
I shook his hand. ‘Thank you, officer.’
I wish I could say it made me feel better. At least it hadn’t made me feel worse. I wasn’t sure what would happen to Dex. But I’d done as much as I was willing to do. A better person may have done more, or less. I don’t know.
Ethan’s funeral came and went. Everyone at the clinic who’d known him was invited, but even still, not many people were there. My heart ached for him. I went. I sat in the back and planned to be stoic.
I cried the whole time.
That night after midnight, I used my window key and walked all the way to the Public Gardens. I sat under our willow tree until the sun began to rise. The funny thing about life is, even when you make the decision to live it, to be in it, that doesn’t necessarily mean it will let you. But the days went by and I kept turning up. It was hard.
Having a goal helped and getting out of the clinic was mine. I needed to get my life back in this world. I didn’t know exactly what that would mean or where it would take me, but I was determined to find out.
A few days after the funeral, Levi came to my room, looking confused.
‘Do you mind if I come in?’ he asked.
I put away my notebook – it had now become a journal where I was attempting to document every moment, every conversation, every outing I’d shared with Ethan.
Levi sat in the chair and looked at me as I sat cross-legged on the bed. ‘Sabine … um, you might not have realised this, but Ethan had been quite thorough in his preparations. He’d regularly updated his Last Will and Testament, and since his parents are no longer with us he’d asked me to look after the proceedings. The will was read today.’
‘Oh.’ Had he left something for me? I didn’t know if I could bear it, but at the same time I would’ve done anything for a photo. I didn’t have a single photo.
‘Sabine, it seems Ethan left some instructions for me, in regards to you.’
He pulled an envelope out of his pocket and a folded piece of paper. He handed me the sealed envelope. ‘Sabine’ was simply written on the front.
He opened the piece of paper. ‘Ethan left us both a note. Mine … Well, at the end of it, he said …’ He cleared his throat. ‘“Please give my other letter to Sabine. I know that you have all formulated your opinions about her, but for what it’s worth, it is my professional opinion that she is of sound mind and not in any way a threat to herself or any other person. Take your time, Levi. Be sure, as I know you will be, before you let her out. But I know your instincts will tell you the same thing, and I implore you to trust in them as you always taught me to do. Furthermore, I hereby bequeath that, after the donations earlier stipulated, all of my holdings, my apartment and most importantly my car, be given to Sabine in full.”’
He looked at me again as I stared back at him, hot tears rolling down my cheeks. He shook his head and cleared his throat once more. ‘I don’t know what went on between you two. I’m sure I probably don’t want to know either, but he also wrote one last thing.’ He smiled. ‘“P.S. Buy her a pair of jeans.”’