Between the Lives - By Jessica Shirvington Page 0,64

answered everything. Which of course it didn’t.

‘So now answer my question,’ he said.

The words were out of my mouth before I knew it. ‘I count when he kisses me. Every time, except once … I’ve never been able to get past ten seconds very successfully.’ I glanced up. He was looking right at me.

‘Why are you with him if he makes you feel like that?’

‘Because he’s … Dex. And in that world, all I ever wanted was to be his girlfriend. He’s perfect for me.’

‘Sounds ideal,’ he said dryly.

My eyes narrowed. ‘He is.’

Ethan wasn’t deterred. ‘What happened that one time?’

‘Sorry?’ I asked.

‘When you stopped counting?’

‘Oh, I was thinking of someone … something else.’

Ethan’s teeth played with his bottom lip again and my insides flipped. I knew what he was about to ask, the next obvious question. What would he say if I told him I’d been thinking about him? Could there be a chance …? But then I remembered the plan. Everything I’d been working towards: Dex, graduation night, my future in Wellesley. I spoke quickly before Ethan could.

‘Dex is good to me. He … he’s my future. After graduation night everything will be easier with him – and for me.’

‘What do you mean?’ he asked, sitting back.

I shrugged. ‘We … we’ve made plans,’ I said uncomfortably.

Ethan’s jaw clenched tightly and I cursed my rambling mouth. He knew exactly what I meant.

‘Oh. Right. Sounds magical.’ He looked at his watch. ‘We should get you back.’

Deflated, I nodded and followed him out of the bar. We walked in silence until Ethan stopped a block away from the clinic and leaned against a wall, his hands on his knees.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked.

‘Just a headache.’ He pushed off the wall. ‘Let’s go.’

We continued the walk silently, but I noticed the pace was considerably slower.

When we reached the open window Ethan helped me in and then followed, locking the security grille behind him.

‘Night, Sabine,’ he said quickly. He walked towards the door without looking back.

‘Good night, Ethan,’ I replied, but he was already gone.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Roxbury, Wednesday–Saturday

Whatever Ethan had written in his report, I figured I owed him one. I was still escorted everywhere by Macie, but it seemed the reins had been loosened. Bathroom visits now included locked-door privacy, albeit time restricted, and I was allowed to eat my meals with the ‘general community’.

Unfortunately my hopes of finding a kindred soul – someone who would give me the inside gossip, show me the secret tunnels, and sneak me into Dr Levi’s office to search through and destroy my files – were short-lived.

My table of lunch companions included an elderly woman, Daisy, with lollipop-pink lipstick – which wasn’t just on her lips. Her lunch was entirely liquid and her only words were to tell me there was a butterfly hatching out of my ear. I assumed she was from the top floor. Next to her was an overweight guy, Gus, who was probably about my age and didn’t even look up from his PSP long enough to say hello. We’d passed each other in the halls, so I knew he was from my floor. I watched him for a while, interested in his ability to shovel food into his mouth without ever looking away from his gamer.

My final lunch buddy was a slender girl, Abigail, who was younger than me, fifteen at most. I found it hardest to look at her. Something or someone had yanked out all of the hair from one side of her scalp, leaving weeping flesh exposed. When she took a few, very measured mouthfuls of food, I could see similar wounds up and down her arms, as if the skin had literally been scraped off. I had an awful feeling Abigail’s injuries were self-inflicted. No wonder Ethan had been so angry to see my cuts.

Dr Levi had sent a message that morning asking to reschedule our daily appointment to 2 p.m., so after lunch I headed to his office. When I knocked and opened the door, he was on the phone. He gestured for me to take a seat in one of the cane chairs. I moved across the room awkwardly and then made the decision to go ahead and drag the chair to the same spot by the window.

‘You should be resting,’ Dr Levi said into the phone. Then, ‘You do know you have nothing to prove to anyone …’ He glanced at me. ‘Okay, fine … If that’s what you want, but I’ll be back up soon