Between the Lives - By Jessica Shirvington Page 0,63
call it a glitch. But I’ve never met anyone like me – anyone who knows they’re living two lives.’
He let this sink in. ‘So maybe we all live two lives, but we have no memories of the days between midnight. Maybe some of us have several lives, but we don’t know it – like a form of reincarnation, but we live all of our lives at once, until they all run out.’
‘Like a cat has nine lives, you mean?’
‘You tell me?’
I twirled my straw. ‘It’s possible. I’ve wondered the same thing. Both of my lives are in Massachusetts, but it’s a big world, so people could be doubling up all over the place.’
He smiled and leaned forward. ‘So maybe my other life is in California.’ He looked as if he liked the idea.
‘Yeah, or Scotland. You’d look interesting in tartan.’
He laughed loudly. Which made me laugh too.
‘Why are you so happy about that?’
His eyes were alight. ‘I like the idea that there’s more to life. You know, that we go on. Have you ever considered that what’s happening to you is a version of afterlife – even a kind of heaven?’
My smile faded. ‘No, Ethan. I live this. It’s not heaven. If anything, it’s hell.’
‘I’m sorry, Sabine. I didn’t mean to imply it was easy. But I can’t help but think, if this is happening to you, maybe it’s for a reason. And maybe it could be amazing if you just … I don’t know, accepted it.’
When he saw the look on my face, he quickly changed tack. ‘Do you have a boyfriend in Wellesley?’ he blurted, and judging by his expression, I wasn’t the only one surprised by the question.
‘I … I … Why?’ I asked. And why hadn’t I just answered?
He bit down on his bottom lip and started toying with the condensation on his glass. ‘Just wondering.’
I stared into my near-empty drink. ‘Yes.’
‘And I’m assuming, since Davis obviously thought he had a chance with you, you aren’t seeing anyone in this world at the moment?’
‘Um … no, I’m not. I don’t think that would exactly be right.’
I could feel his eyes on me, studying me intently, before he nodded. ‘Do you love him?’
‘Who? Dex?’ I asked, startled by the question.
‘If that’s his name, Dex.’ He said the word like he already knew him and didn’t like him. For some twisted reason, I liked that.
When I didn’t answer he raised his eyebrows, prompting me.
‘Ethan, I … It’s different there.’ I looked down at myself, at my miniskirt and tight T-shirt. ‘I’m different. Dex is … he’s good to me and we’re a good match.’
Ethan’s voice moved down a gear, his eyes narrowing. ‘You didn’t answer the question, Sabine. Do you love him?’
I suddenly felt defensive of my Wellesley life. ‘Why are you asking, anyway?’
He was still, his chin now resting in his hand, his gaze piercing its way into me. When he answered, it felt like his eyes were saying something completely at odds with his words. ‘Just curious.’
Caught in his gaze, it took me a moment to remember myself. ‘I’ll answer you if you answer two of my questions first.’ I couldn’t let this guy get the upper hand, beautiful lips or not. I had to remember that I needed to protect myself.
He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Shoot.’
‘Do you believe me?’
He took a sip of his drink and put it down, his eyes never leaving mine. ‘God help me, I think I might be starting to. But I’m still going to ask you to do things for me, keep proving it to me, if that’s okay. Thing is … I think I like the idea too much not to believe you.’
I felt a sudden rush of tears. It wasn’t a declaration of belief, but it was a start.
‘And two?’
I swallowed, my nerves returning. ‘Are you my doctor, Ethan? Or is this something else – are we friends? Are we …? Or is this just doctor–patient stuff?’
Ethan studied his hands. When he looked up, his eyes were pensive. ‘I’m not a doctor, Sabine. I’d hoped that maybe one day …’ His voice trailed off. ‘Technically I do some night nursing at the clinic, like a night supervisor, I suppose. As for whether this is doctor–patient stuff … It should be. But nothing about this is normal.’ He gestured to the drink he’d bought me and then to the bar. ‘Look around – does this look like a doctor–patient environment?’