and he wouldn’t close his eyes if that’s what it took.
And then, the officer who had been the one to break the news, spoke up quickly to say, “We’ll figure it out. I’m sure ... we can figure something out, can’t we?”
That made his whole day better.
The baby girl in his arms, though?
She suddenly became his entire life in seconds and although he had only been holding her for minutes, and knew of her existence for an hour, he didn’t want to remember what it was like before he knew she was there.
“Brrrr,” the baby babbled, drool wetting her pink lips as she smiled wide when his attention came back to her. “Bababababa.”
She had two teeth on the bottom that she showed off with her unrestrained laughter when he blew kisses. Not once did he consider that he was twenty-four and struggling to survive when all he had to take care of was himself. Not once did he think you didn’t even want kids, Lev. She was there now. In his arms. His.
Everything changed for Lev just like that. Nothing would be the same now.
He was fine with that.
Eight
ONE DAY turned into two and it felt like Lev hadn’t even blinked before it happened. He quickly realized that when it came to babies, time was irrelevant. It all bled together. From one bottle to the next—the last dirty diaper to the subsequent fifteen that followed. Not that he complained; the only person his daughter could currently count on to love and take care of her the way she needed and deserved was him, after all.
He planned to do the job well.
Perfectly, in fact.
Whatever she needed.
It was also why he didn’t complain when the social worker promised—and did—to show up at his apartment twice a day until the DNA results were back in. That first check-in hadn’t gone spectacularly well. Mostly because the woman found a hundred different things wrong with his apartment, starting with the fact it was only a one-bedroom and she didn’t think it was appropriate for Arely to sleep in the same room as her father.
A man.
Lev wanted to rage.
Her suggestion was gross.
And yet, he knew that wouldn’t do him any fucking good. So he shut his mouth, forced a smile on his face, and lied his ass off. As far as she thought, he would be moving into a larger apartment in a better neighborhood, closer to his work.
All lies.
Sort of.
But whatever.
His kid was with him.
“Babababa!”
From his position behind the small kitchen counter, Lev had a full view into the living room where Arely currently played in the Pack ‘N Play that also acted as her bed for the moment. He watched his happy baby girl throw the handful of colorful blocks onto the brown carpet that had seen far better days. It wasn’t like moving would be a bad thing—at least then he wouldn’t feel like his kid was just rolling in irremovable dirt every time he put her on the floor.
The past two days hadn’t been easy. She cried to communicate. He didn’t understand what any of those cries meant, but he was learning one at a time.
Oh, and what was sleep?
Those two teeth? They were turning into four—she had more coming on the top, and it made nighttime particularly long and hard. He had to quickly learn how to change a diaper, something he’d never done before, and make bottles out of powder and water he boiled to make sure it was clean and without contaminants.
Like fuck was his daughter drinking from the tap. Especially not the taps in this goddamn shithole.
All the while, Lev still had to handle the demands of the social worker—including finding a pediatrician, proof of his employment, the new apartment, and any childcare. She said he would have ample opportunity to do all of those things and that he shouldn’t worry about doing it as quickly as he could, but it didn’t feel that way to him.
He saw her judgment at the state of his place and when he explained his job, not to mention his income. He wasn’t stupid enough to think the social worker thought he was in any way capable of taking care of a baby, but he would be.
He had to be.
It certainly helped that the courts favored biological parents having custody of their children if there wasn’t a reason for them not to ... and so far, Lev was proving to be capable. At the very least.
“Brrrrrbrrrbrrr,” Arely babbled from the living room.