didn’t want to live the rest of his life alone. Some people could do that, he knew. There were people here in town who’d lost their spouse and never remarried, but he wasn’t wired that way and never had been. He’d never felt as if he’d been missing out on something when he’d been married. He didn’t look at his single friends and wish that he could lead their life—dating, playing the field, falling in and out of love as the seasons changed. That just wasn’t him. He loved being a husband, he loved being a father, he loved the stability that had come with all that, and he wanted to have that again.
But I probably won’t. . . .
Miles sighed and looked out the window again. More light in the lower sky, still black above. He rose from the table, went down the hall to peek in on Jonah—still asleep—then pushed open the door to his own bedroom. In the shadows, he could see the pictures he’d had framed, sitting on top of his chest of drawers and on the bedstand. Though he couldn’t make out the features, he didn’t need to see them clearly to know what they were: Missy sitting on the back porch, holding a bouquet of wildflowers; Missy and Jonah, their faces close to the lens, grinning broadly; Missy and Miles walking down the aisle...
Miles entered and sat on the bed. Next to the photo was the manila file filled with information he’d compiled himself, on his own time. Because sheriffs didn’t have jurisdiction over traffic accidents—nor would he have been allowed to investigate, even if the sheriffs had—he’d followed in the footsteps of the highway patrol, interviewing the same people, asking the same questions, and sifting through the same information. Knowing what he’d been through, no one had refused to cooperate, but in the end he’d learned no more than the official investigators. As it was, the file sat on the bedstand, as if daring Miles to find out who’d been driving the car that night.
But that didn’t seem likely, not anymore, no matter how much Miles wanted to punish the person who’d ruined his life. And let there be no mistake: That was exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to make the person pay dearly for what he’d done; it was his duty both as a husband and as someone sworn to uphold the law. An eye for an eye—wasn’t that what the Bible said?
Now, as with most mornings, Miles stared at the file without bothering to open it and found himself imagining the person who’d done it, running through the same scenarios he did every time, and always beginning with the same question.
If it was simply an accident, why run?
The only reason he could come up with was that the person was drunk, someone coming home from a party, or someone who made a habit of drinking too much every weekend. A man, probably, in his thirties or forties. Though there was no evidence to support that, that’s whom he always pictured. In his mind’s eye, Miles could see him swerving from side to side as he made his way down the road, going too fast and jerking the wheel, his mind processing everything in slow motion. Maybe he was reaching for another beer, one sandwiched between his legs, just as he caught a glimpse of Missy at the last second. Or maybe he didn’t see her at all. Maybe he just heard the thud and felt the car shudder with the impact. Even then, the driver didn’t panic. There weren’t any skid marks on the road, even though the driver had stopped the car to see what he had done. The evidence—information that had never appeared in any of the articles—showed that much.
No matter.
No one else had seen anything. There were no other cars on the road, no porch lights flicked on, no one had been outside walking the dog or turning off the sprinklers. Even in his intoxicated state, the driver had known that Missy was dead and that he’d be facing a manslaughter charge at the least, maybe second-degree murder if he’d had prior offenses. Criminal charges. Prison time. Life behind bars. These and even more frightening thoughts must have raced through his head, urging him to get out of there before anyone saw him. And he had, without ever bothering to consider the grief he’d left in his wake.