If that had happened, you wouldn’t have been able to play soccer.”
Jonah leaned forward, resting his chin in his hands. “All right,” he finally said with a sigh, looking glum. “I’ll do it.”
Miles smiled, thinking, You didn’t have a choice.
“I appreciate that, champ.”
Later that night, Miles was leaning over Jonah’s bed, pulling up the covers. Jonah’s eyes were heavy, and Miles ran his hand through his son’s hair before kissing his cheek.
“It’s late. Get some sleep.”
He looked so small in his bed, so content. Miles made sure that Jonah’s night-light was on, then reached for the lamp by the bed. Jonah forced his eyes open, though one look said they wouldn’t stay that way for long.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for not being too mad at me today.”
Miles smiled. “You’re welcome.”
“And Dad?”
“Yeah?”
Jonah reached up to wipe his nose. Next to his pillow was a teddy bear Missy had given him when he’d turned three. He still slept with it every night.
“I’m glad Miss Andrews wants to help me.”
“You are?” he asked, surprised.
“She’s nice.”
Miles turned out the light. “I thought so, too. Now get some sleep, okay?”
“Okay. And Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
Miles felt a tightness in his throat. “I love you, too, Jonah.”
Hours later, just before four A.M., Jonah’s nightmares returned.
Like the wail of someone plunging off a cliff, Jonah’s screaming immediately jolted Miles awake. He staggered half-blindly from his bedroom, nearly tripping over a toy in the process, and was still trying to focus when he scooped the still-sleeping boy into his arms. He began whispering to him as he carried him to the back porch. It was, he’d learned, the only thing that would ever calm him down. Within moments the sobbing dropped to a whimper, and Miles was thankful not only for the fact that his home sat on an acre of land, but that his nearest neighbor—Mrs. Knowlson—was hard of hearing.
In the hazy humid air, Miles rocked Jonah back and forth, continuing to whisper in his ear. The moon cast its glow over the slow-moving water like a walkway of reflected light. With low-slung oak trees and the whitewashed trunks of cypress trees lining the banks, the view was soothing, ageless in beauty. The draping veils of Spanish moss only added to the feeling that this part of the world hadn’t changed in the last thousand years.
By the time Jonah’s breathing had fallen into deep, regular patterns again, it was nearly five A.M. and Miles knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. Instead, after putting Jonah back in bed, he went in the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. Sitting at the table, he rubbed his eyes and his face, getting the blood flowing again, then looked up. Outside the window, the sky was beginning to glow silver on the horizon and splinters of daybreak filtered through the trees.
Miles found himself thinking about Sarah Andrews once more.
He was attracted to her, that much was certain. He hadn’t reacted that strongly to a woman in what seemed like forever. He’d been attracted to Missy, of course, but that was fifteen years ago. A lifetime ago. And it wasn’t that he wasn’t attracted to Missy during the last few years of their marriage, because he was. It’s just that the attraction seemed different, somehow. The initial infatuation he’d felt when meeting Missy the first time—the desperate adolescent desire to learn everything he could about her—had been replaced with something deeper and more mature over the years. With Missy, there weren’t any surprises. He knew how she looked just after getting out of bed in the mornings, he’d seen the exhaustion etched in every feature after giving birth to Jonah. He knew her—her feelings, her fears, the things she liked and didn’t. But this attraction for Sarah felt... new, and it made him feel new as well, as if anything were possible. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed that feeling.
But where would it go from here? That was the part he still wasn’t sure about. He couldn’t predict what, if anything, would happen with Sarah. He didn’t know anything about her; in the end, they might not be compatible at all. There were a thousand things that could doom a relationship, and he wasn’t blind to them.
Still, he’d been attracted to her....
Miles shook his head, forcing the thought away. No reason to dwell on it, except for the reason that the attraction had once again reminded him that he wanted to start over. He wanted to find someone again; he