She felt nervous. God, how she hated feeling nervous. They hadn't said a word to each other the whole drive back home. And now they were standing in the cabin staring at each other, like two strangers who didn't know how or where to start. It didn't matter that they knew each other's bodies intimately. Somewhere along the way, their relationship had changed from being purely physical.
Moving straight into the gray area.
A gray area where it felt like her heart might break at any moment.
Where there was more than a slight chance that it already had.
“This shouldn't be so complicated,” she said, forcing herself to reach for the zipper on the front of her dress and pull it down, just as she would with any other guy she wanted to sleep with. “I'm a girl and you're a boy and we want each other.”
But even as she said the words she knew it wasn't Luke she was trying to convince.
She was trying to convince herself.
“Janica, stop.”
Her fingers stilled on her zipper. He moved across the room, his eyes dark with desire and something else that she couldn't read. And then the next thing she knew he was lifting her in his arms and walking back to the bedroom. Gently, so gently she could hardly believe it, he laid her down on the bed.
She felt like her heart was going to pound out of her chest.
“You don't have to do this.” But he didn't stop the slow shift of her dress off of her shoulders, not even when she added, “Please don't do this just because of what I said on the wharf.”
His mouth was hot on her shoulder, his lips teasing her skin, and then he was shifting her dress down further, down over her breasts, past her nipples. The pads of his thumbs brushed over her first, followed by his tongue, swirling, tasting.
His sweet touch felt so good she lost her breath.
A while later he lifted his head from her chest. “What were you saying?”
She looked up into his eyes and she was surprised to see the playful glint in the green depths. But, for the first time in a very long time, she didn't want to laugh away her feelings.
“You don't have anything to make up to me, Luke. It's been my decision to be with you. Because I want to.”
The sentence was barely out of her mouth before his mouth was back on her breasts, hot and demanding. From one to the other he nipped, kissed, sucked, until she was nearly delirious with pleasure.
Finally, he looked up at her again. “Anything else?”
What had she been about to say? Lust, arousal had her brain all fogged up.
Still, she managed, “It's okay if it's just sex.”
It wasn't. Not at all. But she felt she needed to say it. That maybe then she might be able to believe it.
His hands were gentle, but her dress was still gone by the time she blinked, her panties going a moment later. Moving down between her thighs, he lifted her legs up, one over each shoulder. Her body wept with need for this complex, beautiful man between her legs.
A muscle jumped in his jaw and his eyes were dark. “This isn't just sex.”
She barely had time to process his words when he ran his tongue over her in one long, steady stroke across her labia and over her clit.
Her hips bucked up into his mouth and he held her closer with his hands on her ass, sucking her in between his tongue and the roof of his mouth. Just like that, she came, exploding into him. Spasms of ecstasy racked her body, and it was too much, too much pleasure. But when she tried to shift away, he wouldn't let her go, wouldn't let her escape the almost painful pleasure of his tongue, his lips, the slight scratch of his teeth against her incredibly aroused flesh.
Again she came, hard on the heels of her first orgasm, and she was so lost in feeling, so utterly unable to do anything but try to withstand the waves of pleasure that were rolling over her, that she was caught utterly unaware by the long, hard thrust of Luke's cock inside her.
Her eyes shot open to find him levered over her, his eyes dangerous as he held himself deep inside of her.
She held her breath. Waiting as he continued to watch her, his hard shaft pulsing inside her body, his muscles taut above hers. Waiting for whatever it was he needed to say.
“Luke?”
“I'm almost there,” he said softly, and then he started to move, the long slide of his cock out of her slick heat, then back in, so deep that she lost her breath with every single stroke.