Because I Want To - Grace R. Duncan Page 0,8
friend, and riding out the near-painful want without regard to Matt’s feelings, a condom, or anything else.
“Too soon,” Adam muttered, sighing. “Dammit it all to hell and back. I hate this. And there are hours left before the next dose.”
“I know. It’s okay. I’m here, and I will be all day.” Matt kissed Adam’s shoulder. “Turn to me.”
Adam gave in and rolled onto his back. Matt moved over to settle between Adam’s legs, their cocks aligned and brushing. Then he caught Adam’s lips in a thorough kiss.
Adam really wished Matt wouldn’t do that. They didn’t have to kiss to relieve the need. Not that he didn’t love Matt’s kisses—he did quite a bit. And that was the problem. He didn’t want to be reminded of how fucking good Matt tasted or how amazing those kisses felt. And have to face yet again that the emotions governing that taste and feel—that want of Matt’s love—weren’t returned.
Despite himself, he cupped Matt’s face in his palms and let the need flow a little more, returning the kiss. His heat would take over without his permission very soon anyway, stealing his awareness and control, but he wanted to hold on to his sanity as long as he could. He made the choice to slide his hands up to thread his fingers into Matt’s dark hair. He slid his tongue along Matt’s, deepening the kiss of his own free will. He made the conscious decision to lift his legs and wrap them around Matt’s waist. And he let himself release a deep moan when their cocks slid along each other, sending sparks of pleasure through his body.
But his tenuous hold was getting weaker by the moment. His hips rocked without his permission, and he clung a little harder to Matt as the need got worse.
They broke apart, both gasping. Matt dropped his head, resting his forehead on Adam’s chest, panting hard. “Better get the condom.” It came out more grunt than spoken, Matt’s voice strained. He didn’t move right away, though, and Adam fought the urge to tell him not to bother. That want came from the instinctive omega part of him, the natural part trying to do what it was made to do, not the conscious part. That’s what he told himself. It wasn’t what was in his head. Really, it wasn’t.
Because the chances of him getting pregnant right then—during his heat—were exceedingly high. He didn’t know the percentages, but he knew it was much, much more likely that he’d get pregnant than not, even after only once without a condom. Not that he didn’t want Matt’s baby. He’d love to carry it, give birth to it, hold it. But Matt would never let it go, never let him go, if they had a child. His sense of responsibility was way too strong for that, which led Adam right back to trapping Matt.
So Adam kept his mouth shut, closed his eyes, and let himself simply kiss the top of Matt’s head. He cloaked it in his heat, in the growing need, and would let Matt think that’s all it was. And he knew his best friend well enough that even if Matt knew better, he’d let it go and let Adam pretend.
Adam was starting to worry a little, though, when Matt still didn’t seem capable of moving, was still breathing hard. “Are you okay?”
Matt just grunted. “You just smell really fucking good right now.”
Despite himself, those words went straight to Adam’s dick. But it also showed just how badly Adam’s heat was affecting Matt. “You don’t have—”
“Don’t. Just give me a minute. My suppressant’s still working, but even so….” Matt took another inhale, then nearly moaned. “Fuck,” he whispered, though it was easy to hear in the silent house.
Adam didn’t know what to say to that. He guessed that the harder heat he was going through was making things more difficult on Matt’s alpha instincts. Even though Matt had taken his own suppressants, if Adam’s pheromones were worse, then Matt would have a harder time ignoring them. He wanted to do something, but his own brain was starting to get fuzzy and his body was getting hotter by the minute, not that he knew what he could do, except try to send Matt home… which, of course, Matt wouldn’t do.
No matter how hard Adam tried to hold it back, a small whine escaped. His ass was leaking his natural lubrication like crazy, the emptiness making him almost desperate. His dick was so hard, he