drained Stepanov. His chest finally stopped rising and falling, and he disintegrated in my flames, turning to nothing but dust in the wind.
I tried to flap my wings as the ground grew closer, but the pain was too great, the blaze excruciating when it’d never been before. My Phoenix tried to shield me from the pain, giving me that mercy as my feathers began to fall away, dancing around me as they burned.
With my last burst of energy, I slowed time, needing every last second. The wind that had rushed past turned into a mere breeze as I stared at the sky above. I drew in an agonizing breath and pushed all of my love into my mates.
Nix! Damien’s cry for me was echoed by all my mates, slow and drawn out as the seconds ticked by at a fraction of their normal speed.
Nix, fly, baby. Please fly! Killian begged, pleaded, and prayed. His panic choked him, strangling his voice in my mind. This isn’t how it ends!
I closed my eyes, only wanting to see my mates as I pictured the beautiful future Killian had shown me.
I saw them on our wedding day, beaming at me as I walked toward them, this time surrounded by colorful flowers and green grass. Damien surprising me with keys to our new house. Ryder bouncing through the rooms, planning all the things he was going to buy to fill it and make it a home. Joshua rubbing my swollen stomach, laughing at Ryder as he fed me treats while Damien scolded him about encouraging my sweet tooth. Theo on his computer, looking up baby names with Hiro at his side while Killian tried to babyproof the house, his big hands fumbling with all the small locks. Their excitement when we had a child of our own, all of us happy to raise it in the new world we’d fought so hard to build. I could see them as husbands and as fathers, our whole life together spread out in my memory, a million happy moments that were supposed to be ours.
I love you. I pressed the thought to them, hoping it would reach them in time, knowing it would never be enough.
How did you tell someone goodbye when there were a million more moments you were supposed to share together? The agony tore at my heart as my soul splintered.
I love you so much. So fucking much. Tears pressed out of my eyes, even in my Phoenix form. Live for me. Every day. Never forget how much you will always mean to me. Your happiness before mine, always I swear. Your dreams before mine, always I swear. Your life before mine, always I swear. Your soul before mine, always I swear. Eternally vowed. Through life, through death, eternally bonded.
My mates were the last thought on my mind as my Phoenix wrapped her wings around me, cradling me in her warmth as our flame turned to a spark, then an ember, and then nothing at all.
My last breath was nothing more than a puff of a smoke as I turned to ash and became part of the sky.
Twenty
Killian
One month since Nix’s death…
I screamed as Nix’s body crashed back to the earth one slow, agonizing second at a time.
“Nix!” Her name was a hoarse cry on my lips.
I watched her body burn in a blaze of orange and red flames, feathers raining down around us as she fell. And then she was just… gone. Ash scattered to the winds.
“No! Nix!” I thrashed, my throat raw from how many times I called her name. I rushed forward, but she wasn’t there. She wasn’t fucking anywhere. “Nix! Baby!”
“She’s gone,” Damien gasped, his hand clawing at his heart as Nix’s remains floated through the air. “She’s fucking gone.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?” Ryder cried, his hands buried in his hair, tugging the purple strands hard enough to pull them out.
“No,” I whispered, dropping to my knees in the snow.
“The iron. Her body… it’s just… gone.”
“She always comes back,” Theo whispered. We waited in the silence, the war waged, the battle won.
That silence grew louder in my ears until I realized I was screaming, wailing, begging for my mate.
“No! This isn’t right. This isn’t how we end. Come back to me. Come back to me, Nix!” Her name was a litany on my tongue. Tears fell, tracking down my cheeks for the first time since I was a child.
“Killian!” The sharp bark of my name startled me, and I