made you do it. That I forced you into fucking me so it would hurt less when you decide against me.”
I pull his hand to my chest, settling it between my breasts where my heart thumps a mile a minute. “That, right here? That proves otherwise, and I don’t want you to forget it.”
Johnny bends, kissing me where I’d just put his hand and then pulls me to him, both of us settling against each other. I pull his arm around me and marvel that the world is still standing in the aftermath of Johnny Marx and I coming together.
That has to be a good omen, right?
16
Johnny threads his fingers through mine as we make our way back into the Heights. Even though I’ve only been in the log cabin for two days, it was a much-needed sanctuary. A place to forget. A place to have a moment of peace. A place where Johnny and I coming together felt like the most beautiful thing in the world...instead of something wrong. Or disallowed. Or unforgivable.
Don’t get me wrong. It was beautiful. It’s what I’ve been wanting, but at what expense? He promised me important things, and I turned around and made the same promises back to him. We both need to hold up our end of the bargains.
Neither of us speak very much on our way back, but our fingers twined together is the only reassurance I need. If Johnny can’t forgive what’s going on at the end of this, I, at least, have this memory to take with me. I’d been hoping to enjoy the aftermath for longer in our little haven, but Johnny received a call from his dad hurrying us back. Apparently, matters need to be discussed. Right now. Though, it seems as if there are always matters to be discussed that calls Johnny away from me.
The look in K’s eyes when he saw me on the balcony. I shiver, even now, remembering the hard look in his gaze. I shouldn’t provoke him because I know what he’s capable of. At the same time, what I’m doing shouldn’t be annoying him. I’m loving his son. That should never be a crime.
My stomach tumbles over itself, squeezing as I wonder what this meeting is about, considering my presence was requested. Actually, requested is too nice of a word. It was demanded, and I could tell by the stiffness in Johnny’s shoulders when his dad told him he wanted me there that Johnny didn’t like it at all.
We pass the sign welcoming us into the Heights. The scenery isn’t bad yet. We’re in the suburbs section, mostly. The houses aren’t great, but they’re not quite as dim and disheveled as the inner city of the Heights. We’re in the calm before the storm. The shroud before the maggots eating away at dead, putrid flesh.
Johnny squeezes my hand, then peeks at me from the driver’s seat. It’s nice to be together, just him and me. I can be myself without worrying over who else is around, who’s allowed to see what I truly feel. I have a feeling my happy place is about to get smashed to bits though. He licks his lips, dribbling his free hand over the steering wheel. “I need you to say as little as possible while we’re at the meeting, okay?”
I nod.
“I mean it,” Johnny urges, his icy blue eyes intense. “I don’t know what my dad is going to say, but it must involve you. No matter what it is, stay quiet. If it’s something we don’t like, I can work on him later, but disrespecting him in front of a group is never wise.”
“Neither is disrespecting him when you’re alone apparently,” I counter. Unease skitters up my spine, but so does a healthy dose of injustice. “So, you’ll work on him later, and he’ll just hit you again.” His jaw ticks, and I sigh, some of the fight leaving me. It’s not Johnny’s fault his father is a lunatic. “I’m not going to say anything to get you in trouble, and I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, Johnny. Whatever your dad has planned for me, I’ll do. Okay? You’re not getting hit again because of me.”
Johnny slips his hand from my grasp and thuds it heavily on the steering wheel. “You don’t understand the shit he could ask you to do. You’re one of us now because of me. He owns you. The stories I could tell you—” He breaks