chest burned. Swallowing acid would have been less painful than what looking at her again did to me after all these years.
Grouper must have heard me or sensed that something wasn’t right, because he was suddenly beside me. He took one look at my face, then at Willow, and squeezed between me and the doorway to get inside of the room.
“Okay, Birthday Girl. It’s time for physical therapy.” It was only one o’clock; physical therapy wasn’t until four. Luckily, most days, Marlene had no sense of time. Grouper maneuvered her wheelchair over and immediately began sitting her up in the bed. He wasn’t in bad shape, but I knew from experience it wasn’t easy getting her in and out of the chair. Typically a nurse and a porter did it together.
Ignoring the self-preservation that was keeping me standing in the hallway, I walked to the bed and lifted Marlene, setting her gently into her chair. She looked up at me. “Brody. I didn’t hear you come in. Did you come with Willow?”
I responded with a lie on autopilot, the same way I had been for years. “We came in separate cars today.”
She nodded. Grouper unlatched the lock on the chair and began to turn her toward the door. “Wait!” She held up her hand. “I need my teeth.”
I kissed Marlene’s forehead. “You have them in.”
She did the usual check, raising her hand and tapping her nail on her front tooth. What was it with those things? She never trusted that I was telling the truth about her teeth, yet she happily accepted the thousands of lies I’d been feeding her about her granddaughter for years. Sometimes we believe things not because we know they are true, but because the lies are easier to accept.
Grouper nodded to me as he wheeled Marlene from the room, clicking the door closed behind him.
I stared out the window for a long time. There was so much I wanted to yell at Willow, yet it was all knotted up in my throat, clogging the words. Eventually, she was the one who spoke.
“How have you been?” she asked in a soft voice.
I let out a sardonic laugh. “Just fucking great.” This shit was not happening. I turned to face her, leveling a death stare. “What do you want here, Willow?”
“What do you mean? I came to see my grandmother.”
“It’s been four goddamn years. Why now?”
She looked down at her wringing hands. “I missed her.”
“Bullshit. What do you need? Money?” I took my wallet out of my pocket and pulled the wad of cash from it, throwing at her on the bed. “I’ll save you the trouble of stealing it. Take it. And fucking leave. We’re fine without you.”
“You’ve been coming to see her every week all these years. I saw it on the visitor sign-in sheet.”
“Someone had to.”
She looked up at me. There were tears in her eyes. I had to look away. I was too fucking angry to let her manipulate me again. “I should have been here. Thank you for taking care of her for me.”
“I didn’t do it for you.” The air in the room was making it difficult to breathe. The windows didn’t open, and my lungs constricted, the pressure in my chest making it feel like it was about to explode. I needed to get the hell out of this place. Without bothering to say goodbye, I left the flowers and the gift I’d brought for Marlene’s birthday on the bed and headed to the door.
Her voice stopped me as I reached for the door handle. I didn’t turn around when she spoke.
“I’ve been clean for eleven months.”
“Good luck to you, Willow.” I never turned back.
“You knew it wasn’t going to be easy.”
I pulled the last tissue out of the box that Dr. Kaplan kept on the glass coffee table between us. “Sorry.”
“I’m well stocked. Don’t worry about it.” She gave me the same encouraging smile I’d grown to become dependent on over the last year. “Take a minute. Then tell me about the day. Start with your grandmother. Did she recognize you?”
I dried my eyes and wadded up the tissue in my palm. “She did. I was really nervous that she wouldn’t. My legs were shaking when I walked in the first time.”
“Understandable. It’s been a long time.”
“She knew me. She knew who I was. But she didn’t seem to know how much time had passed. It was like she just picked a page from our history book, and everything