explicitly blame me, but I saw the accusations in their eyes, in their sharp words when I returned for the funeral. Why hadn’t I been able to give everything when they could?” Her eyes were unfocused, drawn back to that time. “I couldn’t stand it, so the moment he was in the ground, I went back to school. Stayed there. Got my first boyfriend, lost my virginity, lost myself in trying to make people love me as much as my parents had loved Chance. But . . . college boys are, as you might remember, not inclined to love truly. They want to party and be free but . . . at the time, it seemed like further proof that I was unlovable, unworthy.”
He couldn’t stand this, but he had to, not only because she’d endured it, but because she needed him to shoulder this burden, to aid her in letting it go. Slowly, he tugged his hand free, leaned in carefully to cup her cheek, to brush the tears that continued to fall.
“Then I met Jeremy, and he was wonderful. At first. Or I thought he was, anyway, until I met you.” She gave him a ghost of the smile. “I get now that our relationship was unbalanced. I gave. He didn’t. Not in graduate school, when we met. Not after I moved here, and we were supposed to be building our future.” Her hand covered his on her cheek. “I don’t know why he broke up with me, why he pushed me away. Maybe part of him sensed that I was too desperate for him, too willing to do anything, he knew it would destroy me, so he turned me loose—”
Ben snorted.
She smiled sadly again. “You’re probably right. I doubt it was anything altruistic. But he broke up with me brutally enough that I knew I wouldn’t ever go back to him. Even though I was still desperate to feel loved, I couldn’t forgive what he did and said and how he left me alone in a new state without a place to live and a broken heart.”
“I want to kill him.”
A chuckle slid from her lips. “After today, I don’t think I would have minded. Especially after what he did to Fred.” She shook her head, and he shook his. This woman and her dog, worrying over him rather than herself. “But it’s better that he’s gone, out of our lives forever.”
“Our,” Ben said, shifting closer to brush a kiss to her forehead. “I have to admit I like the sound of that.”
Her lips turned up. “I do, too.”
“Almost as much as I like the sound of forever.”
Laughter on the air. “I like that, too.” She covered his hand with her own. “You gave me that. Gave me a reason to hope, the strength to throw open the door and realize that I deserve more, not the crumbs that someone is inclined to toss my way. I deserve everything.”
“Baby,” he whispered.
“You, Ben,” she added softly. “You gave that to me.”
“I love you.” His fingers slid over her cheek, into her hair. She sniffed, and he felt near enough to tears himself to ask lightly, “Do you think I could kiss you, if I’m very gentle?”
More laughter, this time in his ear, her smile beatific. “I really wish you would.”
So he did.
Chapter Thirty-One
Stef
It was Tammy’s turn.
To keep her busy, or really, to keep her from going insane from being locked up in Ben’s apartment.
Three weeks since Jeremy had broken into her place.
And somehow, she’d been coaxed into moving in with Ben.
Her condo was on the market, her things packed and moved to his place. The only thing that was missing was a back yard for Fred, not that her condo’s had been anything to celebrate. A tiny postage stamp had nothing on it. Plus, Ben had already had grass installed on one of the patios for Sweetheart, and he’d had some workers expand it, so the pups would have more space to run.
It had worked out perfectly, and she was done with being scared and living in the past. She’d told him the dark secrets in her heart, the things that made her ashamed, that had her parents looking at her with disdain.
And he hadn’t run.
He stayed.
He’d remained the Ben she knew and loved, and . . .
In the meantime, she convalesced, worked as much as she was able to from home, and Ben still had his hard stop at six, though oftentimes he was home much earlier,